I need some marriage advice. Its a long story can someone listen to my story?

When I met my husband things happened too fast. He tricked me into marrying him because he is military and we never had a wedding. He promised a wedding and then he broke that promise. He continuously lies to me and he cheated on me but I have no proof if he had sex with her or not. He has feelings for another woman while being married to me. He treats me like crap. After all the lies and things he has done to me, I have lost a lot of love and I have no trust for him. I left him for a weekend and he has called me wanting another chance. This is chance 5 for him. After I came back to him he lied to me about 4 times, but at the same time is trying to improve in this relationship. I dont know what to do. I need someone who can help me out. I need some marriage advice. Its a long story can someone listen to my story?
You have got to be a glutton for punishment!! He will not change. Can you see you living the rest of your life like this. If you have self respect, you need to make a very important decision, and fast. Don't kid yourself into wasting your precious youth hanging around this goof.I need some marriage advice. Its a long story can someone listen to my story?
The first thing you need to decide is, are you wanting to give him another chance? If you decide that you do , you both need to get professional help. If you don't, I suggest that you get out of this situation. Because most men that are doing this will not change. They make promises they will never keep. If he has feeling's for another woman, I would leave, it's only going to get worse if you stay. The lies will continue and you will never know when hes telling the truth. You have to decide now what's best for you. If you decide to leave him and he keeps harassing you have your phone number changed. There are still good men out there, that won't treat you like that. That will love only you. Take care and God Bless. Your friend Lorie
First of all, I am really sorry for what you are going through now, I know exaclty how you feel. Do you have children together, the reason I asked that is because that is one of the main reason why other wives stay with their husband despite of everything that they have done, is because of their children, if you don't have children together, I don't really see any point why you have to stay with a man who obviously does not show any respect for you or whatsoever, you deserve better than that. I hate to tell you this, from what I've read, he will continue lie to you and cheat you. That is who he is, and I don't think that he will ever change, sorry...
Palin and simple:


The leopard DOES NOt change the color of its spots. who you have is who you WILL have. dump him fast. annaul if possible, and if not, divorce ASAP becuase he is a bomb ready to explode in your face. He is a bnarcissist in a psyhological way who want to please his organ first and foremost and has a way of twisting your arm, becuase he has deep abandonment issues and always wants his MOMMY around. You play the mom role. get a real partne,r a real man who will be your besty friend. he has no self respect do how coyuld he ever respect you? Lose him fast!@
sounds like it is time to go. Sorry for being so blunt. But a zebra doesn't change it's strpes. He has lied more than once and unless he will go to counseling with you , it's over.


Try to move on. Good luck.
I don't answer many of these, and you for sure have several issues going on, and truly need some insight here... hope this helps.





First, however long you have been married to this guy, it for sure is long enough... If the guy has treated you like a door matt, remember it is you who has been lying there taking it.





Truly, I believe that marriage is Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust, The four biggies, with a whole lot of lovies, and kindnesses each toward the other.....and you indicated here that you just don't trust him. And if you for sure have reasons not to trust him, even the best guy in the bedroom isn't worth it.... With no Respect, nor Admiration , the passions isn't much better than a vibrator.





Five chances, huh? What ARE you thinking? I could continue with all sorts of analysis, but in a nut shell, you have no self esteem, and no one can give that back to you... you, sweetie, have to get it back yourself and realize that every lady and every guy deserves a faithful, loving spouse. (This is not to say that within all couples' arrangements, there aren't disagreements, but those get solved with discussion, not rage and resentment)





If this guy has betrayed you with adultery, betrayal, hon, is the deal buster.... the trust is gone, with the passion getting shared, so the Admiration and Respect aren't there either... Hon, you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate who uses your vagina. Simple. Any counselor will tell you this.





What can you do:





Get a few sessions to find out why you are so needy. None of us likes being alone....we are all evolutionarily designed to be partnered, but by staying with this guy, you eliminate your chances to find someone appropriate... and he just isn't appropriate...unless you like pain, which appears to be the case... and thus then you need again, to find out why you are so , so , so needy........ How anyone gets over the EEEWWWWW factor in betrayal is just beyond me.





If you need some statistics, only 20% of couples with betrayal in their marriage are still together 2 years later, and that is with both in counseling, and both hoping to save it. In short this means that neither of them as well could get past the eewwwwwww factor.


I promise you he's not trying to improve. He doesn't have to.... You're there no matter what he does.
you will not change him, nothing will change until you change your behavior and move on!
You can help yourself by moving on with your life. You don't trust him which is to be expected, since he lied and cheated on you. It is extremely hard to regain someones trust and he has not helped by continuing to cheat. How are you defining sex? It does not matter if he had some type of physical sex with the other woman or not. You should not care, because through all this he... treats YOU like crap.





It is time to think about yourself, forget about a broken promise, the lies and that he wants another chance. Don't make this chance number 6. Move on and stay gone! Take Care.












He will not stop lying to you. He will not stop cheating on you. It takes a miracle for adults to change their evil ways. God is the only one that can help an adult change their evil ways. You will not be able to do that. You are unhappy and you have been letting him get away with this on you far too long. How much longer are you willing to keep getting abused? Yes, abused. Emotional and mental abuse is just as damaging as physical. Sometimes, more damaging. Emotional scars take a whole lot longer to heal from.





Some time soon, you will have to stick to your decision and stop all contact with him. Change your phone number next time you leave. Go somewhere he does not know. Get him out of your mind so you can get on with your life. After you do that, he will soon get out of your heart too.
I feel like this is lame advice, but if you want to stay, get marriage counseling. If he doesn't want counseling, he doesn't really want to change, and he just wants you to think he is changing so that you stay.
You said he ';tricked'; you into marrying him, well why did you stay? Your not going to be able to change his behavior and your only options are to either deal with it or move on.
Do not waste your time and unconditional love on somebody who is not willing to do the same to you. Obviously you arent happy, you need to leave him. I would say divorce him. You got marrie dto fast, and it may have been all glamourous at first, but now yo u are paying for it. If you need to explain to him why yo uare leaving him, tell him to read what youve just wrote.
Picture one of your dearest friends telling you this story. What would you want for her best interest? Now remember you have to be your own best friend, and listen to yourself. A leopard never changes his spots some say.....How do you see the two of you 10 years from now? Only your own heart can give you the true answer you seek.
Five chances??? My gosh your a forgiving person.. This man took advantage of you from the start. Im sure he married you for the benefits. Do you have any family members that could help you out? Possibly stay with till you get on your feet? Do you work? At least your not straddled with a child. Move as far away as possible and rebuild your life.. Good luck
Fool you once shame on him. Fool you twice shame of you. I think you already know the answer. You are not happy and there is no trust. Without trust and love and respect there can be no happiness. Currently you only exist and it is not even a happy existence. He only called because it is easier for him since you have enabled his pitiful habits. Time to go and not turn back.
Pack your bags and leave him.
You know what to do, but my prediction is you'll stay with him.
Cut your losses before you wast anymore time.He will not change.Even tho he is AKA( trying to change) he wont.Men that are like that will never change.This story sounds so familair.But if you want to continue with the frustration of his patterns than stay.
If your in a loveless marriage, you need to get out of it. I mean, tell him you have given him chance after chance and things haven't changed. Tell him you don't trust him, and have lost a lot of love for him. Its the only thing you can do. And even though you don't know if he had sex with this mystery woman, it doesn't matter. he has an Emotional relationship with someone else, its Emotional Cheating hun! Don't let him take advantage of the chances you have given him!
Really. . . Really? . . . Really!


You have a lot of excuses here. . . to qoute you. .


He tricked me into marrying him


He continuously lies to me


he cheated on me


He treats me like crap.


This is chance 5 for him.





Responsibility in this relationship at all? Mature a little bit and move on.
You should move on and find someone that will treat you right and give you the love you deserve. It doesn't seem that he's improving anything if you have to keep giving him chances and the relationship has gone from bad to worse. First not giving you the proper wedding and lying to you could signify how important you are to him, not to mention that he could possibly be with another woman. It's hard to start over, but you deserve better. Trust me, I went through a similar situation with my ex fiancee. And I'm a guy!
I allways say fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. You are bring shame upon yourself. Pack you bags and leave for good. By staying you are keeping the right one from loveing you. Do not return his calls or text.





Good Luck
You are not happy so your best bet is to move on, it doesn't sound like he really wants to change, or else he would be trying to. Not every one in the military gets married without a wedding.
The definition of stupid is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
I was all set to give you this big 10 page anwser and then I looked at what eveyone else told you... You don't need anymore answers... It is real easy... Leave.... You know about all the mistake you made..


You said he trick you.... no he did not... you were just moving to fast and did not slow down in time.... you said he lies to you... no he does not... you let him tell you bull$**** storys..... you said he treat you like crap...... No you let him do that to you.... You said he wants another chance.... no he wants a lot of chances..... he is not going to change.. you say you don't know what to do..... That is a lie...... you know what to do.... leave him.... you just need to have the will power to leave....I was in the military, We have a lot of men and women that are serving in the military and it is a shame that went I was in... I always treated my lady with the most respect. I think your man is a loser with you and the military... He did not learn any of the lession that they teach you... Respect... honor...trust....You need to teach him a new lession.... Divorce....


Good luck
The time for You to move on is way past due. This Guy is only concerned about himself and no one else. Take as much as You can from Him because You have all ready given too much.You have to look after Yourself first.
You don't need someone to help you - you need someone to open your eyes ---- he is not good for you and you know it. You've already answered your own question - Why stay in a relationship (if you can call it that) like this??? You don't trust him, you've lost the love you had for him - what is there to mend now? He is not going to change for you (he's already put another woman before you). Why hang around for more misery? Don't you think more of yourself than this? Please don't keep giving him **chances** , what did the first 4 chances help? Nothing - Move on with your life and quit wasting your time on this loser. Good Luck
Divorce...what the heck are you waiting for?
It sound as though you have been incredibly patient.. and understanding. Maybe it's time for the tables to turn. Make him prove to you that he deserves another chance. Marriage is hard, and it requires compromise on both sides. It sounds like you've been doing more of the compromising than he has.


5 chances is too many. He's not taking you seriously or respecting you. It's kinda like dealing with kids - if you say to them that if they misbehave, you'll take their toy away. If you don't take the toy away, they don't take you seriously, and you have behavioral issues that require Super Nanny to show up.


Show him that you don't need him. Stay away, ignore his calls - let him be without you to realize that he needs you. If he doesn't come crawling back, you can cut the strings without so much pain. He needs to realize that you will be fine without him... right now he thinks that your a pushover. He's going to keep abusing that if you let him.


Would it really be so bad if you split up with him and found a partner that would make you feel like a queen??