Please consider counseling - you admit you are confused and screwed up - What do you mean by ';I love him, but I'm not IN love'; with him? Are you expecting love and lust to be the same thing? Love is long term, lust ALWAYS fades.
You have a child with your husband. Please put the best interests of your child FIRST-
Have you ever heard the expression - ';You can't go home again'; - it means that you can't relive your past. It will never be the same as it was.Marriage/Divorce advice, please???
The absolute worst thing you can do for your life is to, ';go forward in life with a rear thinking mind set.'; Usually when all of us go through trying times in life we resort to what was better before. Do not allow your emotions to drive you backwards to unearth pastime fantasy relationships you, yourself chose to bury. Fix the situation in present company before you have future pangs of tossing this relationship.
Divorce your husband, and forget about the ex for a while, focus on healing, your career, your son, do not jump into another relationship so soon, specially with someone that means that much to you, because you are not ready and you dont want to srew up. Give it time, Once you feel better and more secure about your feelings you could start sometthing with your ex.
Wow, have you created a mess or what? If you still had feelings for your ex then you should never have started a sexual relationship with another man. It can lead to, and has lead to, a child. Put aside your petty emotions and do what is right by the child. Be a stand up mom and work it out with his dad. You owe it to your child.
Get some counseling! Big news flash, you dont stay in love with your spouse the whole time you are married, you stay with the commitment, and you work on the love. There is no love if the commitment level is low. and there was a reason why you and your ex broke up, leave him as your ex and work it out with hubby
you know, every time i get a call or get an email from people from my past, the first thing i say is.....
';let me guess. you're getting a divorce!';
and 99% of the time, they say, ';how did you know?';
don't be so predictable.
you need time to yourself let the wounds heal before opening up more. your first priority is the child and that should be first and foremost on your list, not getting another man.
go w/ ur gut feelings
First off if you have decided to get a divorce that is your decision. You'll always love him of course he is the father of your child . Yet you are right not to want to jump into a relationship right after. Sounds like to me that you really need to be a mom and take time out for yourself. You still may feelings for your EX yet you need to find out what exactly are your needs and to be honest you can't make anyone else happy unless your happy yourself.
Take time for you and your child
Then if it's ment to be you can go into a new relationship without any problems.
The feeling of love but not being in love is inevitable in a marriage. I'm not trying to be mean, but you need to figure out how to keep a commitment when you feel down. Marriage is a tough thing...the ups and downs are harsh at times...but that's WHY we get married...it's a promise to keep working through those. I feel like you'll probably switch partners every few years when you get bored, and create a chaotic life for those kids.
Now for the real scenario.....
You started talking to your ex and it felt all new and exciting again.....You look at your present husband who works, pays the bills, feeds you and probably pays for your insurance, and long story short....he's not so exciting to you anymore. So being the immature person you are you 'ask for a divorce' because, hey, hubby isn't any thrill anymore and we all know the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence, right? Your husband probably feels rejected, used and unappreciated but what your husband DOESN'T know is you are secretly talking with your ex (ever ask yourself WHY he is an EX?) and your EX is blowing the same old BS up your skirt and you are naive enough to fall for it!!
So my advice to you is YES, get a divorce. Why? Because your husband deserves a good women who appreciates all of his hard work, love, commitment and dedication and because YOU DON'T deserve him!!
seems to me you probably need to get your tubes tied before you bring any more kids into the mix..
People always look back at times in their lives and think of things ';that might have been';. We delude ourselves into thinking that is self destructive and destructive to our current relationships.
the ';Love but ';NOT in Love Stuff'; is a cop out. it is a chickensh*t way to dump your husband go off on an adventure. It has nothing to do with reality. Life and marriage is about living each day fully throughout the ups and downs, and realize it will be ok.
I was on the receiving end of the statement described, my ex-ex was going through the emotional toilet bowl.
Eventually life came back in to focus for her and she got her poo back in a group and things worked out.
If marriage was always bliss we'd get bored.
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