I need sincere advice on this confusing situation about my marriage.

I and my wife a currently living separately after we had a fight. Though we see everyday because i pick her up for work( we work together)and i drop her off after work.At work she still addresses me as her husband(and even brings lunch from her current place for me).Even when im not there, and she encounters difficulties, she will call on my phone and addresses me as her husband. I have tried talking to her but she tells me she wants a divorce(though she has not filed any uptill now). She tells me she wants us to remain friends. Im confused because i want to know the next step to take, will she ever come back? We have two kids and sometimes she calls and passes the phone to them for us to talk, but i have asked her to return home and she refused,what do i do?I need sincere advice on this confusing situation about my marriage.
Hmm...I have read all the answers you've got and I can't add more since I agree on most of them.


However, I can't seem to take my mind on the fact that she's asking a divorce just because you had a fight. Of course I don't know what the fight is all about.


And reading your past questions I am guessing she just used that fight as an excuse to move out since you never indicated that the both of you tried to patch things up. That it was just you who wants to work for reconciliation.


I see your confussion though from her wifely actions and very different demand. But looking in, I think she's doing them because, as you said, she still wants to be friends but probably not your wife anymore. Which tells me she still respects you as a person.


As to whether she'll come back to you, you said she said no. The question is, is she the woman who means what she said or is she the kind that changes her mind to suit her mood? If she's the first kind then you got your answer, if the former, you're in for a long wait if you won't move in and make the decision for both of you.


I hope we helped. Good luck.I need sincere advice on this confusing situation about my marriage.
Ok, I am kinda familiar with this kind of problem..


Your wife right now is expirementing if she can do it all by herself! she is not sure if she wants divorce or not!( she might be worried financially, emotionally %26amp; physically) and you said she addresses you as her husband if there is a problem or some difficulties, it only means that she can't solve the problem and she knew you are there to help her! she wants to be alone but she is scared because she is not sure if that what she really wanted or if she can stand on her own feet etc!
Sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too. It makes no since what she'd doing/acting. The way i see it..., she plays you both off as still being a married couple but by living like this she can do whatever she wants anytime she wants and not feel bad about it. You need to show her your a free man too, living alone and can do as u please too and stop being her dutiful husband since she's not acting like a dutiful wife and see what that does to her or for her. Might just give her a wake up call on everything
Don't be a numb skull. Don't give her the satisfaction.





Take control of your life. Prepare for your future.





Women sometimes change their minds when they see change in you, but chaising does nothing.





Ignore and your homefree.





You take care of you and let what will be will be, but don't antagonize it.





Your going to play lets make a deal with Monty Hall.





Either stay in the poisition your in and get no where or take what's behind door number 2. Or lets make another deal, you can trade in your wife for what's behind door number 3?





Am I getting through yet?
you still go for lunch together right? right. so take her some place one of these days and sincerely talk to her. let her know how much you need her back home but don't make a mistake and say its for the kids. let her know you want her back for you. the way she still addresses you as her husband is a milestone for her come back so don't blow it . she's just playing for you to miss her like you do now so let your heart out and say your mind.ps tis needs a lot of courage. good luck.
put the kids aside for just a minute why not ask her out on a date on neutral ground maybe she and you can talk don't be silly and buy flowers or chocs after a row you need to talk to find out where you both have gone wrong start by suggesting that you start courting again take her for meals to the pictures if this does not help then maybe you could both see a councillor and talk through your problems
dear friend,





you are lucky that your wife is asking for divorce. go ahead and take one. because a relationship cannot survive on silence. because i would call your relationship a platonic one. talk to her first before you take this step. what happens to the kids? under whose custody will they be? are you still having feelings of love towards her.


if this has finished, then suggest you go in for a divorece asap...


check out if your wife has any extra marital affairs..



first off u need 2 remind urself of the reason u seperated, then u need 2 sk urself if ur marriage is worth saving, and thhen u need 2 either end it and this will naturally only work if u stop all communications.. or u need 2 show her u want 2 save it and u want 2 fight 4 her.. showing her means showing with actions not words!!
She wants you to be her husband when it is convenient for her. She still cares, obviously, but not enough to live with you.
Do mail outreach.matters@gmail.com and seek psychological help freely.The advive will help u
there is really nothing you can do but be patient but if she is really going with the divorce you have to accept that your marriage is over but she is not forceing you out her life ,we all know divorce end up sometimes ugly and both dont want nothing from each other except the child support check but your wife didnt come to you with all of that ,so once you except all for whats is worth you can start the healing process and move on and be there for the children , and you have to except the fact that she might have found someone else well i hope this help you out some
It's looks like she need some space to breath. I am not sure what kind of fight you and her went through.


Looking at the situation now. She seems to be pretty happy with the arrangements both of you are having.


Try talking to her like a friend and not a husband, date her all over again. Rekindle the love. Find out what cos her to behave like that (woman don't just ask for divorce for not reason. Something u did hurt her badly). It's going to a long process but I hope you two really works out! Cheers!
You're in a tight situation that I really hate to give advice on because it will be a little harsh.





What you need to do is make sure you make it clear to her that she will now need to find her own way to and from work because it hurts you to see her at work and then not at home. You're going to have to ask her to not bring you lunch anymore and to not call you during work hours. Make regulations about seeing the kids. Then you need to be the one to make the first step. Talk to her about divorce and filing for shared custody of the kids. You want the same amount of time with them she will get. You two might be able to handle everything without an attorney. That means less money spent. Just see if she's willing to let you come over whenever you want, pick up the kids whenever you want, and take them on vacations and stuff. Get in writing as part of the divorce terms, split whatever you like in half (assets, finances, etc) and the rest is up to the court as far as actually granting the divorce.





Be strong-headed with her. She needs it. Seems to me as though she's teeter-tottering between decisions and you don't have time for that. You need time to heal and she's not giving that to you. Demand it, but try to be as kind as possible toward her. The less tension between you two, the better the divorce settlement will be.
The most you can do is just keep on letting her know that you do truly love her and you want to make things work.





She is probably feeling just as confused as you are ... what was the fight about?





I'd imagine that it was a pretty hefty blow out fight if you guys decided to separate. Have the two of you apologized to one another over what was said in the fight?





If she hasn't I'd just be the first to do it. Be the bigger person and say ';Hun, I'm so sorry about the other night when we fought. I said some really terrible things and you don't deserve that.';


Something along those lines would be helpful and even admitting you were wrong ( even if you weren't) would also be helpful. :) As a woman those three words ';You were right'; mean a lot more sometimes then I love you. As crazy as that sounds...





If the fight doesn't even seem to be the issue anymore try to find out if there is another problem that she may be having or any feelings she is feeling that may make her feel like she can't come back to you.


You should gently suggest that counseling would be helpful for the two of you and before she decides to divorce you to please take that step with her and try to make your marriage work.





The only thing you can do is just support her and love her no matter what decision she decides to make. Though it seems hard the more understanding you are to her the easier it will be for her to talk to you.





During those times of encouragement do make sure that she knows you are still in love with her and want her back but you are going to respect whatever decisions she decides to make. That way your understanding doesn't come off as you not caring but that it comes out of LOVE and RESPECT for her.





You seem like a pretty great guy and I'm sure she must think that too or she wouldn't want to remain friends at such a difficult time and she's also still referring to you as her husband which is also a good sign. It means that whatever you guys are going through isn't so terrible that it can't be fixed.





Keep your chin up :)
I think you should sit her down one day and ask her what she truly wants out of this marriage. Tell her you won't accept knee jerk answers, you will only accept the truth. She was referring to you as her husband because technically, you are still married but it takes two people to make a marriage, let alone make one work but it seems like she doesn't really know what she wants.





On the other hand, she could be just saying she wants a divorce to see how you're going to react...kind of like a mind game of hers and is probably trying to see if you would follow through with it. If all things fail and she really wants out, by all means tell her to file for divorce or if she won't, take the initiative to do it yourself. You deserve to move on with your life too and not be left hanging and waiting for her to make up her mind.