Marriage. Any Advice? Similar Stories?

My husband has a habit of finding the prettiest girl he works with and becoming ';close friends'; with her. This has happend 2x and both have been behind my back. The latest was the worste. It was with a woman we have fought over before. When he started working with her she would flirt with him constantly. He came home with stories of how she would wear his sweatshirts and make sexual comments. It upset me that he wouldn't tell her off. She invited my husband and I to a bar where she proceded to get tipsy. She told me how much she appreciated my husband and that I should really work on my flaws as a wife(which she specifically listed off). My husband appologised and even offerred to get another job. But why? I don't trust him any more. We normally have such a great marriage. It seemed like we were best friends. Of course right now I feel very far from him. Ive even considered getting a ';close friend'; of my own but I know its wrong and I dont think I could bring my self to do it. Advice?Marriage. Any Advice? Similar Stories?
Hi Liz,





this may start out innocently enough.





I don't think that it is necessarily ';wrong'; for a married guy to have friends who are good looking women. It's probably an ego thing to him. Even though he's married he just wants to know that he ';could'; if he wanted to. That he still has the mojo.





BUT, he crossed the line when he started confiding in her.





If she knew details about you, things that are your so-called flaws, that means he is telling her way too much. It's way too personal. She had absolutely NO right to give you advice on what you should work on. What a total bimbo.





As for advice...


You said yourself that you have a great marriage. That you were best friends. Don't throw this all away.





Be very, very calm and reasonable. As sweet as you can. And talk to him about how that made you feel. Don't act angry, you'll get a much better reaction if you show him that this makes you SAD.





Don't yell or call names. It will only make him defend her and tune you out.





I totally understand that you are mad at him and want to get even, etc. But now is not the time.





Instead, remind him how great you are, and how much fun you can be, all the reasons why he loves you. Judging from your pic, you are GORGEOUS!!!!Marriage. Any Advice? Similar Stories?
From what you are saying the problem doesnt lie anywhere except in your husbands behavior at work and perhaps other social settings. You need to throw down an ultimatum so that he understands there will be no more such ';friendships';. I understand having female friends and you sound like you do too...but he has crossed the line with what he tells her and how he interacts with her. Dont put up with that crap another moment....your mistrust and anger will turn to resentment and then youll never want to continue together. Good luck.
Sounds like your husband loves attention and is addicted to anyone who will provide it to him. It is very flattering to him and a big boost in his ego when he can get it from the ';prettiest girl'; in his work place. He also enjoys to be the envy of his co-workers. He knows it is not right but has convinced himself that he is not doing anything wrong.





You need to make him see what he's doing is wrong and let him know exactly what you're feeling. The only way to do that is to get a ';close friend'; of your own!!!





Now this doesn't mean you would cheat on him or even flirt with other people just to get back at him. You just need to tell him stories and make things up make him see how it feels. If it's okay for him to do it, then it is okay for you to do it. If he wants you to stop, then he needs to stop. The right thing to do is to be truthful and not lie but sometimes it just doesn't work that way. Unless you put him in your shoes, he will never see the error in his way!
Just remember 2 wrongs NEVER make a right.





It sounds like you guys might want to just get some counseling. This doesn't sound too awful that you should end your marriage.





Get things back the way they were.
He seems to have a problem and his problem has become yours. He needs counseling. If he won't do something to stop this behavior I think you should tell him the marrige is over. He can't do anything to you if you don't allow it and if you are not there.........he can't hurt you anymore.