I need real marriage advice?

Hello, i have been married for 2 years now and i find myself in a tough place. It was said best in the movie fireproof. I find myself in a fork in the road, both ways could lead me in differant ways. I keep fighting with my wife about stupid stuff. Things that should not even matter. I think we both feel like the other is ungreatful and selfish. I need to know what to do to fix this. There is little to no time for us to see a counciler. I love her so much and it breaks my heart to feel like im loseing her. so please if you have any advice that could help im listening.I need real marriage advice?
get the book from the movie fireproof..'the love dare' and do the book TOGETHER!





my husband and i are in almost the exact same situation (married two years today) we got the book a while ago and are working on it together and it seems to help. we read the book together at night.





learn to communicate better. TALK about the little things that bother you or cause you to fight. Take time outs when arguments become heated. Agree to walk away if your language and tone become hurtful. Forgive each other when mistakes are made. Acknowledge that neither you or your spouse is perfect. Admit past errors and mistakes.





If you do something wrong make sure to appologize- A simple sincere and heartfelt apology can sometimes do wonders for a relationship, especially if your partner sees you as a person who never admits they are wrong or at fault.





Be honest and share the feelings that are underneath the anger such as fear, embarrassment, or insecurity. Your partner may respond to you quite differently if they see those other emotions, instead of just the anger.





Try and set a date night. Maybe every tuesday go out and do stuff alone together that you enjoy. Go for dinner and a movie or bowling and get to know the person you first fell in love with. It really helps to get out of the house and do stuff like that once a week-it gives you both something to look forward too =D





Take it 1 day at a time





p.s.- it will get better if you BOTH try. but it does take both of you to try to make it work.


Good luck ;)I need real marriage advice?
Instead of fighting why don't you try to talk about things in a positive way.Leave the petty stuff alone .Little things should not matter if it is not worth the arguments you are having.Instead talk about how you feel about each other and bring the romance back into your relationship.Give her a card for no special reason or flowers to brighten her day.When something is said that you know will mount to nothing but an argument then turn the conversation to something that will benefit you both.Keeping a mouth shut is sometimes a hard thing to do but sometimes it is best to just walk away and put no comment on the situation
Your second answer was right. Since you fight over small stuff, then let her win. I do that a lot, it makes my wife feel that I support her and it shows her that I will stand by her. As a husband, you will loose more fights then you will win, you have to pick and choose your fights very carefully. You simply cannot argue with her with everything, or you will have trouble. Let her win, that gives her a sense of accomplishment.
Even you know that you two are fighting over stupid stuff. Why wasting away your time, energy or even marriage on them? Next time, when you begin to get angry , look her in the eyes and say ';I don't Like this but I love you'; and mean it.





Marriage means accepting the faults of other persons too.
It's good that you still love her and realize your fights are about minuscule things. The movie fireproof is based on a book that tells you how to save your marriage. Go to walmart and pick up the ACTUAL book. The workbook in the movie is real. I believe that your vows are sacred and love can conquer all. Good luck!!!
Communication...tell her exactly what you say at the end...YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH AND IT BREAKS YOUR HEART TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE LOSING HER! Women want to know how you feel...she wants to know....she wants you to talk to her! Open up to her...it could save your marriage and you two decide together that you are going to stop being selfish and ungrateful. Love never fails...I promise. She obviously loves you and she does not want to lose you either or she never would have married you.
If you fight about small stuff then let her win! as simple as that! If she starts a fight about the toothpaste being in the shower (I hate that so I guess she does as well) then just say you're sorry you know she hates that and you'll pay attention next time. Play the good guy for a while, you'll see it's contagious.
Get away form her for a while, start working more, pick up some extra shifts are get a 2nd job it will help you and her appreciate one another more.
Well, I'm assuming you've seen fire-proof. Do what he did. You have to be self-less in love. Be patient, be kind, and hold no records of wrong. Talk to each other and make commitments to try and be these things. Nobody is perfect, but knew that when you first got married; you loved each other for your flaws. Pray together for God's wisdom and patients.





It's the little things that count too. Take her to dinner and act like you did when you were trying to win her over. I'm sure she loves you and is feeling the same way, and simply talking about it and being truthful (but not hurtful) can do wonders.





God Bless!
Usually if I get to feeling like I am heading in this direction, I find step one is to step up. If you feel like there is not enough appreciation in the relationship, you should start showing more appreciation yourself, regardless of if she shows it back. After a week or so, if she hasn't already come around, have a talk about it. Be honest. And if you are often the instigator of the arguments, ask yourself if it is really worth it. There are so many things people can argue about that just aren't worth it.





Edit: Sounds like a lot of us go through this at the 2 year mark. My husband and I are at 2.5 years, and we've had this discussion before. You can get through it.
I've been there, been married now for ten yrs. the most important thing right now is to make time in your life to do the things you both enjoyed when you were dating. bring her flowers, and chocolate, and whatever else she likes and enjoys. you guys have not been married very long and the honey moon phase is gone, now you are going to get to know the VERY real person (this is not a bad thing). you will however need to start thinking that marriage is something you want with your wife FOREVER, this will help with the difficult times ahead of you and throughout your lives. Marriage is not easy, as a matter of fact it is one of the hardest thing to do, this is why marriages don't last long today because most people go into the marriage with the mentality that it is expendable (meaning you can get a divorce when you feel it is over). when you do get to this point this should be the time you work even harder to save your marriage (granted both parties are willing to put the work and effort to save the relationship). good luck.