HELP...I NEED MARRIAGE ADVICE.?

I'm thinking about divorcing my husband he is a great man, but I found out he has been texting a female coworker behind my back. I confronted both of them about it including her husband and the husband doesn't mind but I do, I feel it's completely disrespectful and hurtful and to do it behind my back makes it even worse. My husband has never given me a reason to doubt him which is why this is so hard for me to process, I know the texting has stopped but it's been two months and I can't get over it, I'm constantly bring it up and can't let it go. I've become so needy and insecure it's disgusting.





I'm making him crazing with my doubts and suspicions but I can't help it at times I feel bad but I can't stop harping on it.





Am I wrong and blowing this out of proportion, he promised to stop and he has, he says he's remorseful but it isn't anything but a friend he was texting but knows I'm jealous and would get upset...and all I can think is why do it if thats the case.





Please help.HELP...I NEED MARRIAGE ADVICE.?
You want to ruin and throw away your marriage because of YOUR insecurities? Lady, you need help.





He was texting a FRIEND and hasn't done so in two months because of you and you still can't lay off? Seek professional help





Therapy does actually help.HELP...I NEED MARRIAGE ADVICE.?
I know it is hard, but just let it go! If he doesn't text her anymore then there is no reason to worry! And by bringing up that subject all the time, is just going to start a fight! Your husband loves you! And you love your husband! There are worse things in life to well on, so don't


dwell on this! Everything will be okay. :-)
You are right. You have lost trust with your husband, that is understandle. He needs to understand that. Try to relax some, take one day at a time. You don't need to say too much for then he will get upset and say that you are harping on it. If it's over with the 2 of them, then just try to rebuild the trust, but do keep it in the back of your mind. What he did, is cheating.
Yes. You are wrong in blowing it out of proportion. You need to get a grip on yourself and drop this frigging thing. How long are you going to hold onto it? The rest of your life? Why do you have such issues about it. Ask yourself that question. If it truly is ';harmless'; why do you care. I have caring, and respectful relationships with a lot of women at work and my wife totally trusts me, even though I've had lunches with them and other things.
You have an obsession. You need to see a psychologist. You should not make any life changing decisions until you speak with a doctor.





You have 3 choices, leave him and regret it later.


Fail to seek help and he will leave you when he tires of your obsessiveness.


See a psychologist who will help you find out why you are obsessing over this and help you put it behind you.





Doctors are expensive, but not expensive as a divorce.
First, you have every right to question your husband. Second, he was the one that was deceitful.





Counseling for the both of you. I think you can work this out but it will take time. We all make mistakes, I am not saying what he did is right but if he is willing to stop and has-you need to forgive him.





Blessings
You need to get over this, if not you are going to push your husband away. You may need to go to a marriage counselor, it will be worth it to save your marriage. You need to trust your husband. Start to relax, and have fun with your man. Put the romance back into your marriage.
this is hardly grounds for divorce. you've already admitted that you're needy and insecure. perhaps you should talk to a pro about that.


i think you're blowing this out of proportion, big time





edit - after reasing kasmirkat's answer, i read your other posts. you really need some help
honey.... this is what happened to me...





My husband was ';friends with his co worker.. they slowly began to talk about his marriage .. our marriage.. and about me and about our problems.. guess what .. he ended up leaving me to have an affair with her...





Please get out now.. you dont' deserve this.. don't make the same mistake i did
divorice is a big step and i know it can be tempting try telling your husband that its bothering you, and if he is texting somebody for a good reason he should let you know no matter what
first of all dude that video isnt funny duhhhhhhhh**********


u should talk 2 ur husband about this and if the text massages werent that serious then u should have faith in ur husband.


its normal to have doubts sometimes ur human.
THIS IS A SPAM QUESTION, SAME ONE OVER AND OVER.


WHAT SAY YOU GET OFF THE INTERWEB AND GO INTERACT WITH YOUR HUBBY? OR GO TO THE COURTHOUSE AND FILE SEPARATION PAPERS??????
really just tell him you dont feel comortable with him texting that ***** and if he says no then dump his ***. hes probably a douche any ways
SORRY,I'M NOT MARRIED...YET!!!!!! jk!!!!!!!!!!!
You are thinking for ';divorcing...a great man...'; because of texts behind your back? There has to be more to it than that. You can feel disrespected and talk to him about it, (you shouldn't confront her or her husband, that is beyond your business) but reallly, divorce over it? You must be looking for any excuse. Really. So, if you can't stop making a big deal over it, then I guess he has to stop texting a friend (who has a husband by the way). You need to work on your jealousy. If it takes this to the extent of a divorce.
Yes ... you are making a big deal about nothing... I will say that carefully. Being hurt is not ';nothing';. This ,in my eyes, is not a good reason for divorce. I am married and text females however I make a point of being open about who and what I am texting. I will say that being open about it helps.





I feel there are other reasons why you are so hurt by this. I would encourage you to sit down with your husband and a neutral party to discuss this openly. Be sure to share all your fears and concerns then let it go. Work on your trust issues. If it comes up again.... texting females behind your back.... then consider other means.
I understand exactly what you feel. I have been there myself. But at this point, trust is a choice. Its not automatic like it used to be. So everyday you have to choose to trust your husband. This sucks, but will actually work eventually.


If you love him and want to stay, I would suggest going to see a counselor. A lot of people write this off, but it helps to talk to someone that is totally unbiased. I suggest this because right now the only person that you are hurting is yourself, and you obviously know this. We all need a helping hand sometimes. I did it, and it was totally worth it. Start by going alone, than maybe together if you think its needed.


What your husband did WAS wrong. It also had nothing to do with you. He was being an *** fair and square. But even the best of us make mistakes. The choice to let that go is up to you, and you are going to have to tell yourself that everyday until you heal, otherwise it will eat you alive, Remember to love yourself. And try and remember why you love your husband.
I would definitely not divorce your husband over a text-messaging dispute. After being half-cheated on behind your back, you have every right to be a little bid paranoid, but after he's apologized and stopped texting her, you really should try to move on. Relationships are all about trust and communication, and if you feel like you cannot effectively continue marriage, try communicating more to rebuild trust. How suggestive were the text messages anyway? If they were over the top sexual, try to understand where this came from within him, and if he feels your relationship is lacking.
I definitely don't think you should divorce your husband for this. When you married him, you made a promise to stay with him for better or for worse. Perhaps this is one of those ';worse'; times.


As long as your husband hasn't been doing anything other than texting, you really shouldn't worry about it. Maybe he didn't want to tell you about it because he knew you'd flip out (with him having a female friend other than you). It's not uncommon to be jealous over that but you have to learn how to control your expression of the jealousy. Maybe he just needed someone different to talk to during the day and this co-worker provided the right help for him. It doesn't sound like he's cheating or anything. You said he stopped texting her right? If he still wants to be friends with this woman, maybe you and your husband could go out with the woman and her husband and have lunch together or something. Then you might not feel so threatened by their friendship. However, if you do go out and you are still feeling insecure about their relationship, then tell your husband how you feel. Do this carefully and gently (don't accuse him of anything, simply explain why it makes you uncomfortable). Listen to what he has to say in return. It sounds like you and your husband just need some better communication. Maybe you two should take up a new hobby together for the summer- go camping or swimming or something fun on the weekends and make him forget about his co-worker when he's not at work.


Sorry that was long! I hope it helps some though!


Take care :o)

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