If men wrote marriage advice columns?

Q:


My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.








A:


Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college sorority sisters involved, too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.





Q:


My husband continually asks for me to perform oral sex on him.








A:


Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.





Q:


My husband has too many nights out with the boys.





A:


This is perfectly natural behavior and should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house, too!) Just look how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.





Q:


My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.





A:


Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.





Q:


My husband is uninterested in foreplay.





A:


You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to get you ';in the mood';. Stop being so selfish. Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.





Q:


My husband always has an orgasm, then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.





A:


I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.If men wrote marriage advice columns?
I've seen this before...always good for a laugh. Luckily this time I got to read Lilly's comments...which were even funnier. It is most amusing to imagine her reading the joke and taking it seriously. I'll laugh at this all day...





Thanks Lilly!!If men wrote marriage advice columns?
Why can't the world be that simple? :-)





Seriously, thanks for the laugh!!!
Nice cut and paste job...we know damn well you didn't make this up yourself! and I'll bet you are a real hit with the ladies....NOT! When is the last time you got laid, 1990?
Personally, I think you have way too much time on your hands, but youre probably right. I always figured you women could find better things to do then these little things like men bashing
Awesome!!!
cool! Right on track....... You didn't mention anything about beer.
Ladies... I hope you've learned something... if you want to keep your man happy there needs to be lots of sex BJs and food without complaints.
Thanks very funny
Oh you are soooooooooooo bad. :) thanks for the yuks.
????????
Funny.....














Now its time for me to get back to making my husband a nice meal.......
That is to funny probably what all men would like to say but are afraid of death LOL and lighten up Lily
I needed a good laugh. No I must go cook my man a nice meal and you know what happens after that.
This is what happens when you have 2 much time on your hands. You go to thinking, then you think you're interesting, then you think someone would care to hear about it, now you find out you were wrong. LOL! I was too bored to read the entire thing. Yawn. Chill out, it's a joke!
u r ignorant and obviously don't know anything about how 2 please a REAL woman. u know nothing about the female gender, grow up! u r gonna b a lonely man if this is the way u think... evey woman who reads this i guarantee they will think the same thing, stick 2 writing about things u know because this is pretty sad. why don't u cook yourself a nice meal, cuz u prob. will b doing it 4 the rest of ur life if u keep that mind frame. open up 2 a woman's needs. SMH!