What advice can I give a friend who is set on making his marriage work BUT...?

whose wife does nothing to improve the problems in their relationship, and she refuses to see a marriage counselor with him?What advice can I give a friend who is set on making his marriage work BUT...?
There is nothing you can do other then be there for him as a friend. He will realize one day that its not meant to be if that is the case. I just went through that with a friend of mine. It took him 4 years to figure it out.What advice can I give a friend who is set on making his marriage work BUT...?
Stay out of it is my best advice. M/F friendships outside of marriage that discuss these things are dangerous.
Buy him ';Love %26amp; Respect'; by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs!





(This will be directed to your friend, as it is copy %26amp; pasted from another answer I gave)...





I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy ';Love %26amp; Respect'; for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...





It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.





If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...





';I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, ';He doesn't love me.'; Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, ';She doesn't respect me.'; Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).





As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip.';





I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.





If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a ';religious freak'; book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
He is putting himself through this torture perhaps in hope that things will get better. As time goes by he will grow tired of this situation and will hopefully pursue happiness.
This is such a common problem and unfortunately a relationship where only one partner wants to work on it will eventually fail. He too, will get sick of being the only one trying and if he doesnt leave her, he will probably become very bitter. He could even start to hate her. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. Your friend would have to know that this marriage is doomed if she doesnt want to take responsibility too for making it work. He doesnt want to face it. I guess the best thing you can do as is friend is to tell him that, unless she is prepared to take her share of the responsibility then the marriage will fail, but also tell him that you understand he will only see this when he is good and ready and when he does he needs to know he has your support. I am just wondering though, is this your observation about their marriage or his? If it is your observation only, then there isnt much you can do except support him and show him that he is worth more than being stuck with a wife who takes him for granted. She must be pretty sure of herself......and him, if she turns her back on the problems......and I can practically guarantee, if she continues to do that, then one day, the tables will turn where he will get angry, and when that happens, he will feel more in control and will be able to start making his own demands....but maybe by then it will be too late and he will just throw up his hands and leave her. Like I said, all you can do is be there as a support.....he has to learn that this is his life and he needs to take control of it. If everyone tells him what to do, then he will never feel he has control of anything......this is a decision he has to make himself, and you need to encourage him to do it.....it is the only way he will ever feel good about himself.