What are things you wish you'd known or thought through? What sorts of things are common argument causers in your marriage? Not just things that could lead to divorce, but things that are regular sources of tension or irritation.
Money is obviously a big one, as is a set division of labor/ clear expectations of who is primarily responsible for what. Go ahead and let loose with any marriage ideas/advice you may have!Pre-marriage advice! What do you wish you'd known?
The biggest one is to make sure that divorce is not an option. Otherwise, what is the point in getting married?
Also, remember this -
Life is not perfect.
It is messy and weird and can be very, very harsh.
There are going to be things that happen that you two won't ever anticipate. How will you deal with them? Well, you won't know until you get there.
But it's a lot easier when you promise, even now, to be a united front. To support each other. To work as a team, as one. To stay that way.
Forever.
:)Pre-marriage advice! What do you wish you'd known?
If children might be in your future I suggest discussing how you both wish to raise children? What types of punishments do you want to use? Will you use time outs or will you use spanking? My husband and I slightly differ on this so I wish we had discussed it sooner.
As you stated, money can be a big issue but it doesn't have to be. As long as you both have a clear idea of how much keeping house will cost and who will pay what, and how much you can save each month, you should be all set.
Do couples counselling. Be really honest about where you see your lives and what your dreams are in the future.
Communicate. Talk. Always tell eachother if someone bothers you.
Discuss how you will be handling your bills from the get-go.
Never let it escalate/or keep it hidden. Always be respectful and mindful of eachother.
Things that can lead to problems/divorce: money issues, bad communication, dishonesty, and no respect.
Always tell eachother you love eachother. Go on dates. Have fun togehter. Travel. Be happy. Laugh. Love. Send little insignificant text messages saying you love eachother and can't wait to see each other.
I am in a happy marriage but i wish i would have known that my independence for the most part would be gone. For example, I can go out with friends, do what i want, work, spend my money. Ok, i have some independence. But, If i decide i want to take a cruise, i have to say honey, what do you think? can we afford this? if i want to move to san francisco, i have to say ';honey, where do you want to live, can we go to the city?'; The point: you can no longer make major decisions based on what you, alone, want to do. This is a major pain in the ***, esp. if your husband doesnt agree with you....you have to ';comprimise'; and if you dont your called ';selfish';
The problem we have is not really a marriage issue. We put everything out on the table before we got married. We talked about anything and everything. From money and debt to what were our views on open marriages to what we thought cheating was. The problem we have is more of a legal thing with an ex bf of mine. My ex and I had a kid before I even met my husband. My son was about 5 months when I met him. So my husband became a father figure because my sons biological dad didn't become involved until my son was one. So the past two years we have been going back and forth to court and trying to figure out visitation because I'm moving to CT with my husband since my kids dad said I could move with my son. So theres nothing wrong with my marriage. We never fight over things. We always talk at a time when were both calm so we don't say anything we don't mean but only thing we want at the moment is for this legal thing to be done with.
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