Sunday, December 27, 2009

Advice on marriage, please...?

Guess sometimes I feel really lonely. I have my kids and they are great but my marriage sucks. He never talk to me, does anything I want to do without complaining, always fights with me....sort of feels like he is only with me bc of the kids. I guess it is starting to hurt more and more. Not bc i feel shut out by him...but bc i just feel alone. I cant say anyting to him bc he will automatically start arguing with me, getting all defensive. I just hate certain parts of my life now. This is unfair. How can I have such 2 awesome kids by some idiot.





Married him pretty young and in a vulnerable time, where i was pregnant and scared and just needed someone who i thouth loved me, but in the end it just caused more problem for me that i would ever know. By the time I got pregnant with Lyric he really started hating on me, physically (sometimes), emotionally, and hating himself.





I know deep down he is no good for me. He uses me and makes me feel like he has sacrifcied so much for our lives but he has not done noting but mooch off of me abd my body. like i am some shell...with no feelings and no needs. Sometimes i get so upset that i cant even lay by him at night. I cry bc I feel so awful about everyday. I dont know what to do...we have 2 kids, very young kids....under 2 yrs old, and he is 10 yrs older than me...Advice on marriage, please...?
If counseling is out of the question...then seek an attorney. Do you have the means to take care of the kids without his full paycheck? Seek alimony and definitely child support. Remmeber he has rights and may be able to take the kids,too..unless an atty can help you explain to the judge about this guy's abuse. I have been there..divorce was my only freedom from loneliness, heartbreak and insanity...and don't feel bad about it.... Marriage is a 2 way street, to quote some silly cliche. ((((HUGS))))Advice on marriage, please...?
First off all I think you made the mistake dating someone 10yrs older then you. Really a guy of this age not married is a red flag because wiser ladies knew he was a jack a ss. I think you must consider divorce life is to short to stay in a marriage like this and is to nasty to raise kids in as well. Fight for full custody and tell this guy to get out of your life and stay out. It appears he thinks you have trapped him with kids and marriage let him be free and find a new guy you can be happy with and that will cherish you rather then disrespect you.
Its bit sad reading your story, I know you have some needs from him but he just ignores you. What a pity! I guess if you are really in bad shape with your marriage you need to go to a marriage counselor so that both of you can talk it over %26amp; resolve it for the sake of your 2 young kids.
I am sorry for your pain. He sounds like a jerk and one that will never appreciate what you provide and do with the kids. Marriage young causes this and he has no respect for you.





Sometimes it just helps to have someone to talk to that has been through this before. I had this happen in reverse. A woman who never appreciated the good and complained about everything. If you need someone to talk to email me, I am a great listener and may have some ways to help. My email is ib_wiggly. An old nickname.





Good luck, you deserve so much more.
Honestly sweeti you already know the answer, I was married for several years and miserabel the whole time. I married for the same reasons for support. But Honey your already lonely what would you be losing? He can still be a part of your childrens life but think about the message you are sending to them by always being miserabel
Don't forget the birth control, two kids under two???? No wonder you are going bonkers.
well lady i know how u feel the thing is u have to ask him and ur self is this what we want if not hay u always can get the big D but lets try to talk it out first.if he thinks he is missing out on life like we all do time to time when we marry young but there is nothing out there better then a family u can come home to ever day. there is nothing like it. if he cant talk it out with u with out going off the deep end maybe just maybe he has already done some dirt and he dont know how to deal with it
Im sorry you are going through this, You should tell him that if he doesnt start treating you right you will find a good guy that will. But you need to treat yourself right and be strong and confident, if he is no good for you that probly means he knows it too and puts you down so you dont have the confidence to find anyone else to love you. Stand up tall during the day, and bow on your knees and pray at night. Helped me when I WAS married. Best thing that ever happened to me was a couple years after my x i was a strong confident woman and found a guy that gives me everything and more inside and out
hmm could be on going post partum depression with two such close together pregnancies... you must be exhausted.





Deal with yourself first... see your doc to determine what kind of depression you're d3aling with.


Decide what you need and see if he chooses to help you or not.


THEN... it's going to be tough decision time... Counselling and getting it together in partnership..... or not... You hate to break it up... but he has to wake up and smell the coffee


Good luck

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