Desperately needing some marriage advice?

My wife and I had a big fight and everything went apart after six years of marriage and we have a three year old son. it's been 2.5 weeks since we've been apart. I miss her to death and Im miserably hurting. Im a sensitive guy and she knows how I am. For the last week my son has been back and forth to her place and my place and he doesn't like it very much because i turn around to leave and he's kicking and crying, cause he hates to see me leave. When it's bedtime, he asks me about his mommy and I dont know what else to tell him other than she's at work. For the last two weeks Ive been trying to get her back, ask her out on a date... movie and dinner, to talk to me, etc. She won't make a move. Last time I seen her, I rubbed her back and gave her kiss on her lips, all she did was just sit there and not say anything, tears came down her eyes and I can see that she wants to come back, but she's fighting it. She calls me to see what Im up to and then say nothing, just being quiet on the phone. I have a feeling that she wants me back but she's fighting it. Ive done everything that i can think of. Do you have any advice that can some how help my marriage?Desperately needing some marriage advice?
See if your wife will agree to couples therapy. It sounds like there are A LOT of things that you two need to work through. Ask her if she really wants space, if she answers yes, then ask for how long. Once you agree on a time frame, respect her request and only contact each other when you need to switch who is looking after your son. Be patient, she is obviously very hurt and confused (it sounds like you are too). Taking things one step at a time will help out a lot. Meanwhile, keep a journal and write about all the POSITIVE memories you have of your wife. Include photos, ticket stubs, everything you can think of. The point of the journal is to remind yourself why you love this woman, and it will help you focus on the good times. After it is completed, ask her if you can give it to her. Believe me, if you take the time to carefully sit down and write out all the things you remember, and put in words for her to see why this marriage means so much to you, it will definitely catch her attention. This will resonate within her, and show how much you care, and it will last much longer than a dozen roses. Stay calm and keep your head up.





I wish you all the best during this difficult time.Desperately needing some marriage advice?
I hope it helps. If you need anything else, just post another question. I became your fan, and I will check back in on you every once in a while to see how you are doing. Good luck! Report Abuse

Okay, you and your wife had a big fight, I don't know if it was you or her that started the fight between you but one thing for sure even if you believe that you did not cause it did you tell your wife that you are sorry. Tell her maybe she is waiting for you to say that. Good luck and I hope everything works out between you and your wife for your son sake.
Women like this are evil destructive animals and I'm very sorry for your situation. She's wrecking the life of her own child because she has NEEDS that more more important than anyone else, and she probably can't even tell you what those needs are. Insanity.





You need to get her to a counselor if possible. Also you need to read this site to find out what happens to women after 7-10 years of marriage: http://www.womensinfidelity.com/
If you really want to save your marriage,may I suggest couples therapy of some sort. The next time that you see her,tell her how you feel and ask if she would consider it.I have no idea what the fight was about but I hope that things work out for you and your family in a way that is good for all of you.
i think shes just hurting right now, and she wants you to feel the same pain that she feels, give her a few wks. she'll come back to you if your a really good man.. she knows if your a good man or not.. trust me.. if you are.. she'll be back.. she just wants to punish you for a bit.. and good job on doing things to show her you want her back and that she's your heart and means to world to you.. she loves you!
DONT STOP FIGHTING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE. cuz divorcing is not the answer.
Well, maybe she calls to hear your voice and reassuring herself its the same velvety voice she fell in love with, when she saw you on this planet for the first time.......





But, sitting there and tears coming down her eyes and saying nothing.. means, she feels so hurt,,, and not sure what made her to get so hurt.. so, this is something you have to find out and see how can you comfort her cause, I am so sure she still loves you and cares about you same you feel the same for her. and there is no way she wants to break up anything with you specially involving that precious little child that I am sure neither of you want to hurt, really love and care about... So, make sure to talk to her in peace and see what went wrong between both of you, hopefully, its nothing major just some minor issues any marriages go through and it will work out just fine. But, try to work it out together first before taking it to any marriage counsellors because, both of you have to be willing to work out your problems first before taking it any further...


All the luck to both of you.
She's a stubborn woman. I think the best thing you can do, is to tell her to leave you alone until she has something real to say to you. She is being not just stubborn, but very immature about it. The Silent Treatment is what its called, and its the hardest kind of non-communication tactic to overcome. There is no simple answer to The Silent Treatment. What you can do, is make it known to her, that the very worst thing she can do, is be silent...because if she remains silent, you are going to have to do something else. She knows she is playing you for all its worth and she is getting back at you buy hurting you and you are telling her ';I AM HURTING!'; That is what she wants to hear. Don't give her what she wants. Stiff upper lip, chap! You have to pick yourself up and be a man about this. You have to let her know, she just might be risking everything if she continues on with The Silent Treatment. I would give her a definite time line, like 3 days and set the hour and even the minute, and if she doesn't come and talk to you and have a conversation, you are going to be forced to visit with a lawyer and consider divorce. Tell her, silence is no longer an acceptable option. This should scare the hell out of her if she loves you. She may not come back on the appointed day and time, just to test you to see what you will do. In that case, make sure you have an appointment to see an attorny and follow through with it. That will tell her you mean business and if she doesn't come back, she may loose it all. I bet she comes back...but if she does, tell her, if she ever does the Silent Treatment to you again, its overwith. I think outright confrontation is about the only way to deal with people who use the Silent Treatment - its the only thing they understand.





She got her Silent Treatment training from her parents, you see, and now, she is using it on you.
You need to hand write her a letter. In this letter explain exactly how your feeling. ';Lonely, and missing her so badly!'; Then explain to her that you love her and you are sorry for anything that may have happened. You are sorry she is not the last person you kiss goodnight, and the first person you kiss good morning. Tell her you will do anything to get her back. Ask her what it is she is needing in order to come home. See if this starts off on the right foot. I love hand written notes from my husband! It requires so much thought and feeling.