Need advice! marriage and drinking...?

My husband of almost 4 years has a drinking problem. He doesn't drink everyday, but when he does he get insanely drunk. He has gotten violent on a few occasions(not with me, mostly windows and things like that) and this past weekend got a DUI. I wasn't with him, but before his DUI he tried to kiss my cousin. She pulled away and he just tried harder. My male cousin ended up pulling him away and he got angry and starting hiting some car window (he thought it was my cousins). He has no memory of any of this what so ever. We have talked about his drinking in the past and he hasn't really drank since new years (the last time he had an incident) because we agreed he wouldn't/shouldn't. I am extremly upset over this and need advice, is this something worth ending a marriage over or what should I do?Need advice! marriage and drinking...?
Dena C is right. You don't have to drink everyday to be an Alcoholic. I am a recovering alcoholic and I didn't drink everyday, but when I did I drank to get drunk. And sometimes I could be violent by throwing things or hitting objects. I also got a DUI, but that didn't stop me.





If he can't remember anything that happened he had what is called a black out. If you are having black outs then you have a problem. You do need to start going to Al-anon, and suggest that you both go to an Open Lead Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. That is where another Alcoholic shares their story of what is was like for them drinking, and what it is like for them now that they have quit. This is only a suggestion. But it may help him to realize more that he has a problem and want to do something about it. He needs help and can not do it alone.





Your marriage doesn't have to end just because of his drinking. Marriages do survive if the person gets help.Need advice! marriage and drinking...?
Are you in a position that you could leave for a while? Either find and apartment or move in with friends/parents, etc. Give him time to see what it is like to live without you. Don't say that you want a divorce, just that you need time. You cannot continue to live this way.


Good luck.
Ok, your duty is to stand by your mate and do everything in your power to help him with his problem. Have you done everything you can? You can only push someone so far, and they have to pick up and carry themselves at a certain point. If is he totally resistent to treatment programs, and not willing to work at his problem, then you have no other option but to get out of this relationship. You can't help someone who's not willing to help themself!
Oh yeah, this would be a good reason to end a marriage over. A violent alcoholic endangering others' lives and not willing to stop drinking? Ya betcha it's a damn good reason!
I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I'd draw my line in the sand on this one. Either he stops getting drunk, and womanizing, or he's out of my life. Unless you want to see this thing escalate even more. If he's made passes at your own cousin, then God only knows how many other's he's done it to, or WHAT he did with them. My experience is that once someone starts playing games, then it's usually over. People can change, but if he isn't making an effort or doesn't want to, it'll only get worse. Give him an ultimatum. The bottle, or me. But be ready to back up your words with action or he won't take you seriously ever. His history is to do stupid things. If someone doesn't learn from a mistake the first time, usually their repetitive past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior. I've spent twice as many years as you in my relationship, settling for crap. Don't do what I did.
I was in the same situation for 9 years until I realized what it was doing to me and my kids. He will only get worse unless HE wants to stop. I talked to my ex till I was exhausted and it did no good even though he agreed with everything that was said. He went to rehab (several times) and that did nothing for him. He got to where he was having black outs and turning his anger and aggression toward me and the rest of the people who loved him. When he hit me for the last time, I left with the clothes on my back and what the kids needed for school the next day. I told him if he ever touched me again I would leave and file for divorce ASAP...I stuck to my word, I filed for divorce the next day and never looked back. It was the hardest and best thing I've ever done in my life.
Dump him fast, he's dragging you and others down to his level and thinks you should tolerate it.
Someone doesn't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic... and you husband sounds like an alcoholic. Get yourself to an ALANON meeting -- you need the support.
you said no and he stopped so where's the problem? Hold him to his word and keep him under control. Give him a 3 beer limit. Good Luck
Demand him to stop drinking. Tell him it's you or the alcohol. You should also consider some marriage counseling or AA classes. I think you should give him a second chance. Sometimes alcohol brings out stuff we would never to sober. Good luck.
I know that everybody has an opinion and there are those that say stand by your man and help him through whatever. I say no way. Addicts of any kind will bring you down with them. I guess you need to measure the value of YOUR life and ask yourself if you are prepared to live the rest of your life with an addict? I couldn't do it. Do you drink? Are you a responsible drinker? Do you enjoy it? Because if you do, and he gets clean and sober, you will have to be sober too. You will be giving up alot of yourself just to be with him. Alcohol is not an excuse to want to kiss your relatives or break things. That is just natural behavior suppressed by not drinking. You are in for a long road if you stay. How do you want to live?