...understanding, listening, caring and love...good luck!
yNOT?MEN and WOMEN good marriage advice?
Check our Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages book. Figure out what order of importance each of you place on the 5 'languages': Praise and Approval; Touch and Affections; Quality Time; Acts of Services; and Gifts. Then work on giving your partner adequate amounts of the 'language' he/she wants most in order to feel loved.
The four most frequent 'battle grounds' for couples end up on 'money', sex', 'in-laws', and 'how to raise the kids.' Work on the five components of the friendship part of a love relationship and you will better be able to avoid/reduce/ workout the conflicts on those battlegrounds; Communications; Trust; Mutual Expectations; Common interests; and :Common goals, values, and ideas,
Best wishes ... and remember that every relationship is a work in progress. After 38 years together, my wife and I are constantly tweaking and modifying how we communicate and deal with each other and our live together.
Do not be afraid to argue, if you disagree with something it is better to discuss it than bottle up feelings. Anyway the making up afterwards is what it is all about. I have seen more people who professed to not have had a cross word get divorced than those like my husband and I, who disagree on lots of things but have always managed to compromise in the end. We have been married nearly 40 years and as long as you love someone, talk things over with each other things will be fine. Never mind about society concentrate on you two and you should have a long and happy marriage like us. Best wishes for August.
Be sure to never walk away when you are arguing or just ';let it pass by'; without fixing the problem.
Don't use ';forget it';..it won't be forgotten unless it's talked through and finished..then it can be forgotten or at least remembered at what ';not'; to do.
Show appreciation for the LITTLE things
Remember he has feelings too and they can be hurt easily, but most may not show they were hurt
Don't let arguments build into a massive storm, it will be harder to get through them.
Don't let him persuade you to do things you don't want to if you are not comfortable..
Talk, talk, talk, always talk it out. Don't try to change everything, compromise. Have your own life too, both of you. Pursue your own interests too, both of you. This way if you are happy, he will be happy too. Try not to change so much of what works now that makes you both happy. If you want to start a family make sure that you BOTH want to and are ready to, otherwise wait, wait, wait.
Pursue careers and education for yourselves, don't neglect your ambitions, support each other always. About fighting, well, how much of it do you do, and how detrimental is the fighting to either of you. If it is good clean fighting that clears the air and helps move things forward, than it is necessary. So where fighting is concerned it is a shame when it happens, but it is relevant in evolving relationships, so you are not alone in that, expect it, but remember to fight fair, and be respectful. You always go through ups and downs and the test is if you care enough to stick it out in the down times. If you can, it can and does get good again. Good luck to you both.
First of all, forget what society shows you. You need communication and a willing to compromise. That is a recipe for a good marriage. Pick your battles. You don't always have to be right. Don't argue about the small stuff. You've heard the saying don't sweat the small stuff....well don't. He is with you b/c he chose you and you chose him. Don't assume he's doing something that he normally wouldn't be doing. Men are very simple creatures..no offense men, nothin' but love for ya. But they are. They don't like complications or arguments. And when he leaves for awhile, it's not b/c he wants to get away from you, it's b/c they do that. They go to their cave. Read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. It's a good book, the two of you can read it together. You'll learn A LOT. It will simplify a marriage. Best wishes for you both!!!
If I can put in my two cents worth here:
1. love--no matter what, even when arguments arise, remember you love each other. You might be mad about, or even hate the issue at hand, but you love each other.
2. Respect--you might not agree with something that the other person feels or believes, but it doesn't mean that it's any less valid than your viewpoint. Keep in mind that your partner's feelings are important, and you should respect him, just as he should respect you and your feelings.
3. Pick your battles--Only argue about the things that are really worth arguing about. If it's not important in the grand scheme of things, just be willing to drop it and/or compromise. That way, when you do argue, your partner understands that it is something really important. I hope this helps!
I have tried communication, counseling, and much more. I have been married no kids for 8 years. It just fades ...
no matter what something will go wrong and it will happen over and over again he will tune you out and sex wont be as exciting. lots of people are jealous of my marriage but they really don't know the true colors.
so, it just gets old after a while. if you stay together it wil be for a need or attachment but you wont have as much fun as you did and things sizzle out. he will do something that annoys you over and over again and you will want to leave him for it you will want him to change but he will not you will have to get over it
-Make sure you're marrying for love.
-Always be honest and have open communication--communication is very important.
-Be best friends--friends make good lovers and lifelong companions.
-Laugh together...a good sense of humor is always a plus.
-Do things together you both enjoy.
-MAKE sure you show the other how you appreciate them.
-You've got to make sure you understand it's 50/50, marriage isn't a one way street. Give and take is involved.
A marriage is what you make of it. If you love each other and enjoy one another never fail to let the other one know how happy they make you. Never take things for granted...always remember your vows and try to live by them. There will be ups and downs...it's not always a honeymoon...just expect the unexpected at times and do what it takes to get through it. Congratulations and have a long happy life together!
don't let outside sources interfere with your relationship.(other couples/society) biggest tip don't fight over money. remember how much you love him before you yell at him for not doing the dishes or leaving his underwear on the floor. pick and chose your battles somethings are not worth the time or effort arguing about. you should always have a night for you and him to spend time together date night, movie night, watch t.v., etc.. so you don't feel neglected. your time on earth is precious and you should enjoy every minute of it with your new husband. good luck!!!
Golden has it right. You have to be able to talk about anything no matter how uncomfortable (and that means talk not yell). That's the only way you two will ever get at the truth. Also, have a sense of humor. Life is fun if you allow it to be even with all the bullcrap happening. Do what you want to do for your husband without any expectation of appreciation. You should never give ';expecting'; something in return. When you no longer feel good about giving, it's time to rethink things. You are starting out very defensive which is not a good thing Dear.
theres a time and place for everything.. if u have a problem, dont ambush him with it. give him time to react and put it into words that will be on the friendlier side.. if u say Y DIDNT U DO THE DISHES that seems a little threatening and he will automatically retaliate.. use subtle hints or ask.. would u mind helping me with the dishes.. and be HONEST dont keep secrets.. if u feel like ur neglected say things like.. i really like when u did this for me it made me feel good.. or something like that.. relationships are complicated but as long as ur calm and honest and share a real love, you will be fine :) good luck
open communication, compromise and a good sense of humor sometimes you just have to laugh
BIN MARRIED 22 YEARS MY MOTTO I LOOK AFTER THE WIFE AND SHE LOOKS AFTER ME
BELIEVE ME IT WORKS
GOOD LUCK IN AUG
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