I was just married last month. We are a young couple (not too young, Im 26 and he is 30) who are so happy and in love. I look at some older, married couples and sometimes it saddens me to see what they have turned into. They are angry, bitter, and no longer on the same team..... And then there are elderly couples who have been together their entire lives and are still so in love. My parents are about to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary and are an amazing example of how a marriage can be.....Has anyone heard any great marriage advice or words of wisdom for a young couple just starting out their life together?Newlywed marriage advice?
communication - pick your battles - always sleep in the same bed - never let anything bad last too long; learn when to let it go (a fight i mean) - have the same view on finances.. if you dont, have separate accounts!!!!!! - ALWAYS say i love you before bed and in the morning - try not to go to bed angry; (this one is hard, but it can be worked out...) always make time for each other - don't let yourself go; take care of yourselves as you would if you were just dating... - always make time for yourself; you both need time apart too - never lie - dont forget about romance!Newlywed marriage advice?
yeah,
separate vacations
Youll lose the bliss after a 2 years of marriage when you start to see the ';real'; person.
but my wife and i are lucky.
we are still in love. and we show it when we go out.
arguements will happen, thats how you test the strength of the relationship
Also, once the sex starts to slowdown because you are more more comfortable with each other, tha twill test the marriage also.
but dont worry , love each other, have great sex, and live together forever.
or until the divorces is final.
Always take care of your mental well being. Get a complete creening for anxiety disorders, 4tc. Have elvaluations nopw so that you know what you are dealing with which might be glossed over by romance.
Also read
Necessary Losses by Viorst.
It will tell how how to let go of the illusions of life as we age so that you can still be happy and accepting of whatever life brings.
My advice is to remember what actions and behaviors got you to the altar......While change and growth are essential to a solid marriage, it is important to remember that you were girlfriend and boyfriend before you married.
The things you did then should ALWAYS be done....being thoughtful, funny, spontaneous, flexible, mushy and sexual (or whatever created your bond) likely created this lasting attraction and should never be forgotten....
Good Luck to you both!
grass is not green on the other side and dont lose that spark of love in other words dont let life take your attention away from each other always make it a point to let each other know their value and spice up the sex after a while the same old thing gets old and you or them might want something form the other and is ashame to ask for it be very open money is not the answer so dont let bills cost of liveing control the marriage cars houses boats they all can be replaced and always take the time to stop and breath dont let todays fast pace world steal your youth!!!!!!!!
u have to work hard both of you to have this relationship work.
Communication is a secret key.
don't let problems grow , face it and solve it
don't let anybody interfer in yr life.
lurn to comprimise and remember you are 2 not one , for sure you will have differences don't try change each other , try to lurn to live with each other
1. Keep the enthusiam of children. i.e be childlike but not childish.
2. Have your own interests. Make your own friends. Sure have joint friends and all but don't live your life thru ur partner.
3. Let each other have their own time away from you.
4. Trust your partner to be faithful when he is not with you
5. Cherish your time together.
6. Do new things together. Go exploring. Have common interests as well.
7. don't use sex as a bargaining tool or withholding it as punishment. He or she will get what they want elsewhere otherwise.
You have to be completely honest with each other. Not just no lying, but no hiding either. Plus, you MUST be married for the right reasons (not because of kids, money, convenience.) The marriage must be based on love.
My wife and I have been married 8 years and people still think we are newlyweds when they meet us.
I believe in a marriage you need to have honesty at all times. Never hold what you are feeling back because it will only make it worse on the individual. Don't let spice go out of the marriage always try new things. Don't be afraid to show what you are made of because now he is all yours.
You guys just need honesty (even if its brutal), LOTS of patience and a never ending sence of humor! You will have good times and bad and you'll break each other's hearts, but just remember that the bad times pass just like the good ones do and never give up on love.
Remember to always say Thank You. It will really encourage your husband. Whether it is big or small. And it will show him how much you appreciate him. It also keeps you from taking him for granted.
always talk things out as calmly as you can and never go to bed mad and dont take each other for granted when you start taking each other for granted thats when things can go bad very quick
Do not make the mistake of believing that marriage is 50-50. If you want your marriage to work out, you and him need to give it 100-100...your all.
Never take each other for granted.............
It is much harder than it sounds when you apply it to everything you do.
Good Luck
We're married happily almost 19 years. I got married at 28.
You really need to keep together as a couple, your relationship is always first. You have to have one another's back in all things, including family, in-laws, etc. Don't discuss private things outside of you two as a couple, that means no gossiping with girlfriends. Even if you have children, they need to see a strong marriage to have good role models, so don't let the relationship slide.
EVERY day be grateful and happy for what you have. Never ever take each other for granted - not even for the smallest things. You will have probs, every couple does, but you must be determined to go through them together, to work through them. It's okay not to like what someone does, like a specific behaviour, but you should always love them regardless.
I'm not being sexist, but a realist in saying that men are just different creatures than women. They handle things differently, they think differently, they speak differently. In general men are problem-solvers, and sometimes women just like to talk things out, and don't want an answer, they just want to vent. Times like that, it's okay to say to your husband that you just need him to listen - and you will listen to him, too. Lots of times women make the mistake of thinking their husband is like their best gf, and he is not. Best friend, yes, but obviously the relationship is different. As you spend more time married, you will establish roles that each of you feel comfortable with - and that's a good thing, because you rely upon one another.
Don't let things slide, deal with them in the here and now. No nagging, about anything, ever.
When you part and meet, kiss and/or hug. Don't lose the strong bond of physical affection.
It will help a lot that your own parents were good role models for you - the same is true of both me and my husband's parents. I think that really keeps us on the right path of what is important - respect, honesty, intimacy, lust, and FUN!
Good luck, and just enjoy one another!
Those marriages that have been together for so long - trust me when I say they understood the vows that they took. ';For better or for worse %26amp; In good times and in bad times';.
My grandparents have been married for 56 years, my parents for 35 and my husband's parents have been married for 33 years. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 13 years.
Marriage is work!! It takes a TON of forgiving %26amp; compromising. The ';in love'; feeling will fade at times but thats when true love will actually will kick in.
As couples you learn each other each year of your marriage (that's where wisdom will come in). The funny part is women will learn their husbands faster though...lol
However, no matter how much in love you are as a woman you still have to take care of SELF first. Try not to lose yourself in your marriage. Learn how to pay bills if you don't already know how. Get an education - Have money place aside (just in case) - if you are a stay at home mom (AT LEAST) have a part time job or a hustle to make money on the side (ex: baking/selling cookies - avon/mary kay - etc.)
When you argue, try to stay away from the name calling. That going to bed not angry stuff...is hard work...lol I'm still working on that tip I was given..lol
Lastly, remember your marriage is YOUR marriage. Nobody (not even your parents) can tell you how to run YOUR marriage. Ignore the outside peanut gallory when it comes to you and your husband. Only you and him knows what goes on inside of YOUR four walls.
P.S. - There isn't a such thing as 50/50 in a marriage. You may give 30 and your husband may give 70 or 85/15. However, no matter the percentage given it all equals 100!! That's why you're called a team!
P.S.S Always sleep naked!! lol lol That was cutiest advice I got when I got married...lol
well im only 21 with not a lot of eperience under my belt haha... and this first year of amrriage has been hard, but this is what I have learned...
1.) Marriage is all about trust.
2.) Marriage is not about your way and trying to make that other person change, but to accept the person for who they are.
3.) One of the most important things in a marriage is keeping the communication open and being able to come to agreements.
4.) Never take your marriage for granted...
5.) Learn to forgive (A Lot).
6.) It takes a lot of patience lol
My parents have been married 30 yrs and still happy and my grandparents are still married after 51 yrs and not as happy, but there happy.
I know this isnt the religous section, but they have always told me to turn to the bible and well... i did and when i ran accross this:
1 corinthians 13:4-8
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails...
what i learned was this is what I want to base my marriage off of. We had our really ruff spots, but today I can honestly say with work we are 150% stronger.
I see that too when I am out to eat with my husband and an older couple is sitting there in silence eating almost detesting eachother and it makes me so sad. You know they have 50+ years together and they have been through so much and it seems they have grown bitter and hateful of eachother and are just running out the clock together not enjoying life.
Just know that a marriage takes work. As long as you see what you don't want your marriage to turn into work hard [together] so you will stay positive and always say I love you. Never go to bed angry and know there are times when you will be tested but life is too short to be unhappy!
And remember - what seems like a big deal now [ie: fight/disagreement] will not matter in a month from now, a year from now...and isn't really that important in the scheme of things. A marriage is a partnership...not 50/50 but 100/100.
=)
Im 19 and have been married for a year...my husabnd is 21. :)
a rule we follow is if we are mad--we hold hands. simple as that. if we are arguing in the car--we simply shut our mouths and hold each others hands...you'd be surprised at how hard it is to be upset with someone when you are doing that. If we are at home we sit on the couch- watch tv and hold hands.
stay spontaneous.
eat dinner together anytime you can.
be hoenst with each other--if somethings bothering you tell him! vice versa. dont let it build up.
choose your battles--save your energy for a good one (my hubbys advice haha)
make each other a priority not an afterthought.
i wish you both all the luck in the world! Congrats!
That's funny you should say that.
If you were to see my husband and I out to dinner, you would see an older couple that doesn't talk much.
But if you really knew us you would see a couple that has been together for over 40 years and are more in love now then when we met.
We know each other so well that we dont' need to talk much anymore.
We still hold hands. He still opens the car door for me. And we still have a very passionate love life. But to those around us you would never know.
When we go on vacations we go together but he fishes and I sightsee. We get together at the end of the day have dinner, and talk about what we did.
We don't have to be together 24/7, or like the same things or watch the same TV shows. We have individual interest but also like to do things with each other.
So you see you can't judge a book by its cover. Everyone is different and shows their love in different ways.
When you marry someone don't lose your own identitiy. You can't live your life through them. And don't give them 100%. You need to hold back. Because if you don't and they leave they will take you with them.
As for the angry bitter ones, maybe they happened to have a fight right before you saw them and when they went home everything was fine.
Don't tell me you have never gone out ,had a fight and looked unhappy ever. If not then trust me it will happen some day and someone will look at both of you and say the same thing.
You are in the honeymoon stage of your life. Wait until you have celebrated 30 years and see if you didn't have some days when someone could have looked at you and thought the same thing.
I will bet that even mom and dad have had their moments. You just don't know about them. No one or no marriage is perfect. If you think they are you are in for a rude awakening.
Marriage is hard work. Its not always love , roses and romance. Don't be so quick to judge just yet.
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