Help! I need marriage advice and I don't know what to do..?

I've been married to my husband for almost 4 years now. He has had an issue with the way I am. He says that I can be too controlling and I get upset over the smallest things. I agree that I can do both but I've tried to fix that about me. He still seems to have an issue with it and I still seem to do it! UGH! I can't stop and believe me I try. He has stated that he doesnt know what else to do. I dont want to get a divorce but I feel like I am pushing him away when I act this way. I don't want to push him into the arms of someone else. Please help. I also tend to get jealous sometimes, but I feel its because he doesn't show me the affection that I want. I doubt that he's cheating on me now because we work together (which makes things more stressful!) I just need to find a way to make each other happy and work through my issues so then we can work on our issues. I dont want to end up divorced. Thanks in advance. By the way, we have no children. I am 24 and he is 27.Help! I need marriage advice and I don't know what to do..?
You are not being a good wife. The bottom line is that you *must* stop making excuses and claim that you ';can't.'; You stand a good chance of losing your husband. Guys will only take so much of this kind of abuse before they've had too much and flee. It's up to *you* to fix this!





Two suggestions:





1) We often lash out or get upset as a reaction to some kind of feeling we have inside. It may be that you feel frightened, insecure, or neglected and your learned reaction--probably from your mother--is to get bitchy with your husband. To learn to stop this cycle, think back to the last few times you got upset at your hubby. What was the feeling that you experienced RIGHT BEFORE you let him have it? If you can't think of it, try to stop yourself the next time it happens. The key is to figure out what is triggering this behavior in you.





2) Read ';The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.'; We've all been fed a bunch of BS about the way a wife ought to behave. In this book, Dr. Laura provides useful corrective advice that will help you to *love* your husband, become the kind of woman he's dying to come home to, and--in the process--gain all the power in your relationship. You'll be happy *and* in control. How can you pass that up?





You married a good guy. Stop abusing him. Treat him like he is your boyfriend. THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE: *You* have to change. Stop trying to ';fix'; him or make this a mutual thing. You can only control you. Take responsibility for your behavior and marriage and fix yourself. Only then will you see progress. (Even if he's wrong!)





E-mail if you have questions or concerns...Help! I need marriage advice and I don't know what to do..?
You need marriage counseling. You need to be more confident in your self. What's up with being controlling? Find something to occupy your mind and something you can do to be proud of. A marriage is a partnership. It is not about one person controlling the other. It's about open communication. Get help. You seem to be worrying about him cheating. Quit being so insecure and get a life outside of your husbands life.
go to marriage counseling....my ex and his current work at the same place and he cheats on her....ok you sond like i do.... i have alot of baggage..but like my husband said to me....To show love you need to get it... Have a heart to heart talk......Really get to what the problem is....=] I hope things get better for you
Marriage counseling...try it.
Counseling is indicated. You are pushing him away. You need to learn to ';fight fair';.
marrage counseling honey...... and you cant change overnight
I would say that you are being honest with yourself. I hear you saying the I word a lot and trying to change. Smoking is something that is hard to quit but people spend a lot of money and time trying just to fail. It should be something that you want to do. Trust , love, Honorng his choices. Just some of the things that he needs you to do. Counseling on how to communicate better would help you out a lot. Also it help you see yourself from others eyes. Grow in all areas of your life not just one. Express your desire to be the best you can be for him and yourself. If you can't afford couseling then take a class on personal communication. You will get what you put into it.
You're wise to worry about this. Why don't you go to counseling? Talk to your husband and see if he's agreeable. Tell him you'd like to try counseling so that you can become less anxious. If he doesn't want to go, just go yourself. Sometimes it's easier to make changes with professional help
U touched on one of the key elements to unhappy marriages -- that men find it difficult to show affection. This is a most common problem, and if that could be fixed there would be a lot more happy marriages all over the world. U need to talk to him about this. I have the same problem, and so do millions of other women.. U R not alone on this one. It is good that U R aware of this and want to change it before too late.


If U find it too difficult to talk face to face try writing him an old fashioned letter. Sometimes we can say things more politely in a letter, and make ourselves more clearly understood. Do not scold in this letter, only say nice things, and be encouraging.
Definitely seek counseling-- at least for yourself if not actual marriage counseling. It will help you work things out in yourself and figure out why you do these things and what kinds of things you can do to stop. On top of that, have you actually sat your husband down and talked to him about it? Have you told him you get jealous sometimes because of the lack of affection? Tell him what you need from him. Tell him that your marriage is very important to you, and you don't WANT to be this way. See if he's more sensitive. Maybe you're acting the way you are all because you don't want to push him away (and it's kind of backfiring). Try counseling to see if you can figure these things out. It never hurts to work on ourselves-- we can always be a better person :)





Good luck!! Hope I helped :)