Marriage/ relationship advice. Please.?

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We have had a great relationship but we both acknowledge we have been arguing a lot more lately. We have been together for 5 years and we are very young (21). I have been wanting to have a baby for the last few months but he really doesn't want kids right now. I think that me wanting a baby is making me more resentful of him and I have less patience than I used to which is making him have less patience.


I'm just wondering if this was an issue in anyone else's marriage/relationship? What can I do to cure my baby fever and save my marriage before things get too bad???Marriage/ relationship advice. Please.?
i think that you are probably right that is why you are less patient with him about everything. Let me say I know how u feel, but even knowing how you feel if your husband is not ready then I think you should wait till he is. The only reason I say this is because most men are not that much of a help after you have a baby, which makes it hard enough, but if you have a baby to someone who says he is not ready he will then resent you for pushing him into it.


My advice is to talk to him and ask him why and his answers may surprise you. It could be because you guys are young and he wants to save money, buy a house Ect. which is alot easier to do without a baby.


So in other words try to enjoy your husband for a while and when he's ready it will pay off in the end.


Good Luck I hope everything works out for you!Marriage/ relationship advice. Please.?
This is a very common problem among my friends, however they are a bit older. Your husband has been honest and said he's not ready, so don't force it. I had this same problem with my husband, and I got a puppy instead! It held me over for about 4 years, and by that point we were both ready. AND I was definitely glad my husband put his foot down when I first wanted a child. Now that I have a beautiful little boy, I realize how much your life changes, and was very glad we waited.
If he's not ready for children, you shouldn't be pushing the issue. You're 21, there's plenty of time. It's not his attitude that needs changing, it's yours. Try seeing it from his point of view : you nag him on and on about having a baby he isn't ready for. Of course he's going to be bitter and snappy with you.
It's not that he dose not want children at all. Its just that rite now is not a good time I understand I was the same way as well so what I did was a friend of mine was having one and I became the godmother of her baby . And doing that also helped me get ready for when have mine
If you cannot get along now, things will be a hundred times worse with a baby.





Never bring an unwanted child into the world.
You just have to keep in mind that he is part of the relationship too, and both of you have to be ready for a baby before you have one. If he is not ready things WILL get worse when you get pregnant %26amp; even worse once you have the child...if he sticks around that long.





I want a second child right now really bad, but my husband is not ready and I just have to deal with it. I talk to him about it and let him voice his concerns and it helps because if his concerns are valid then it gives me something to think about it and if not then I have the opportunity to address them.





You are still young %26amp; it may even be smart to wait it out another year to make sure you and your husbands relationship is strong enough %26amp; that should give him some time to adjust to the idea and prepare.





It will also help you to look into the cost of raising a child. I pay $200/week for an average daycare($800/month). At least $25/week for diapers, $5/per box of wipes. Cheap clothes from Target or Walmart still cost about $5 per piece. Oh and if you need to use formula the first year because like me you work and could not breast feed all year.. $6.90 per can/ which lasts about a day if you are lucky...so for a week that's around $50 + food when they are ready for it. This is not including the costs of all the baby necessities such as crib/ swing / seats / stroller/ car seat(s)/ toys / etc.
I'm a few years older than you (25 years old) but I've gone thru/going thru the same thing. My husband and I have been married for 1 year and I want kids but he doesn't want kids right now. So, I really started to resent him and hold feelings of anger towards him. At one point it made me not even want to be with him in bed or anything.





However, I realized that it would be foolish of me to pressure him into having a kid that he doesn't want. If he gave me a kid ONLY because it's what I wanted then I'd also grow to resent him b/c he wouldn't accept responsbility for the kid once he/she was born.





I would say sit down and try to find out WHY he doesn't want a kid right now. Maybe he's afraid you two don't have the finances or something of that nature.





Try to talk things out and be patient.





P.S.--I'm still not pregnant but we agreed to start trying in about 8 months or so and see what happens from there. So, he compromised and I compromised.
Marriages/relationships are about compromise, you want a child and he doesnt seem to want to right now, respect that and understand it.





The best time to bring a child into the world is into an atmosphere of security and a solid foundation, do you both have steady jobs? a home you can rely on?





Maybe subconsciously hes worried that these factors arent present and that is what is preventing him from wanting a child





As for curing baby-fever as you say, there is no cure, its a females natural instinct to proceate and want to raise their young, what you need to do is be patient, talk to him, and if all else fails and the marriage breaks down, give me a call :) lol
Plan a trip for the two of you--something that you are stripped of once you have a baby. If he is resenting just the idea of starting a family, now is not the time. Just be patient and if you need a baby fix, place a babysitting ad for low cost. Once you have a baby it's hard to find a sitter that's responsible and doesn't charge a small fortune. Maybe by filling up your free nights, it will put the baby responsibilities and what you no longer get to do in perspective. I know I wish I would have had more time with my husband and I before we started a family.