Need advice marriage on hold??

Hubby and I are seperated (his choice) we were together Monday. Rented a motel room and spent some quality time together I kept it light not asking anything for the entire day and we had alot of fun. The next day before I went back home I had to know where we were? And I asked he said he doesnt look at us as over but he isnt sure he wants to come home either. He said that he wanted to find himself again ( I can understand that I feel the same) and then we could see what happens with us. I asked him point blank if there was someone else or if that was something that he wanted and he said no. I believe him on that. My question is how much time should I give him? I mean I want us back together I love him very much and we have 3 children together. There is some problems that we patched instead of fixing which I agree we need to work on but I dont want to be waiting on him forever either. I want my marriage back and he says that he looks at us as on ';hold'; for now. Give me some advice?Need advice marriage on hold??
I WOULD JUST GIVE HIM HIS SPACE, HE SAID THAT THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE, SO JUST GIVE HIM AS MUCH TIME AND SPACE THAT HE NEEDS AND HE WILL REALIZE WHAT HE HAS AND HE WILL COME HOME.





GOOD LUCK!Need advice marriage on hold??
Well I guess respect his wishes. The more you pressure him the less he will want to come back. Let it be. It's not like you have somebody on the side waiting for your marriage to crumble so you can go to him. Focus on your kids now more than ever. They need you. Do things together so you think less about him. Relax and take it one day at a time.
NO time. On hold simply isnt good enuf. He needs to seek help NOW. I say HE, because he's the one who's having turmoil, and made the choice. The professional will obviously wish to see you as well (as it should be, at the proper time)once he discovers what your mate is feeling. Followed by a fix over that patch of prior.


At very least you can continue, knowing that something is being accomplished. Rather than waiting, wondering, and worrying.


I speak from the exact same experience. When unable for us to communicate, first hurt, then anger (my usual defense) quickly set in. I requested that he leave, and find himself, whatever it was that he thought he wanted, and did not want. It took him all of a wk, to ask for return. This did not happen without his appmnt with a counselor.


Do not accept him putting your lives on hold. It's not fair to you, or your children.
honestly ,go directely to your church and consult father
give him as much time as needed thats the only way and along the way get in as much time as fixing your problem as you can if it doesnt work out let me know ok but give him time and he wouldnt wanna leave without 3 children and time does heal everything ;)
Well that is tough. If your husband wants time give it to him, but give him a time limit, maybe 6 mothns. Explain to him how you feel that you still love, and you understand that he needs time as well as yourself. But let him understand that you will not be waiting forever. Finding himself is one thing, but keeping you in limbo is another. Suggest marriage counseling. If he wants to make it work, he will do whatever it takes...





Good Luck
Tell him that he doesn't get a break from his marriage. If there is a problem then you work together to fix it. What makes him think that he gets to play single for a while and you continue on taking care of the kids, family and home. My husband knows that if he tried that crap with me I wouldn't want him back. Does he have any idea what HOLD does to yours and your kids life? What does he think he's going to find while he's taking this little time off? Tell him that everyone gets tired. We all find ourselves at the end of our tether at one point or another but the word that I've been teaching my EIGHT YEAR OLD is perseverance. When things get hard you push on and eventually you find yourself on the other side of a dilemma and much better off.





Tell that bastard that he can't do this to you and he should get his $h!t together, accept his life, and come home or you're moving on and he can't come back.





Maybe you should ask yourself why it's okay for him to treat you this way. Anyone can have fun with someone they don't feel obligated to. If he tries to call your bluff put that punk on child support and he'll see you mean business when it comes to your life.
';On hold'; doesn't sound very promising to me. Did you ask him how long he will need to find himself? Have you made any plans to get together again, to hang out with the kids, see a therapist or whatever? You need to ask him point blank if he wants to be with you in the future. If he does then you need to get together with him and make a plan. If you need to work on the problems, how and when will they be worked on? If he doesn't want to be together and it sounds like he doesn't, I wouldn't wait for him at all. If he starts to come crawling back, then fine. If not, just get on with things. As a single mum with 3 kids, your going to be very busy. I hope you have family around you that can help you and I wish you good luck.
Let him see the kids a much as he wants but don't spend time with him on any level until he is ready to work on your marriage. My Ex husband wanted ';space'; and it didn't take me long to decide to give him his ';space'; for good he wanted a wife on the side and wanted me to wait. I am glad I didn't wait. Think of all the confusion for the children they deserve better.
I believe that a person really know if they want to be with that person or not ,My sister in-law and her husband are going threw the same thing . I feel that she is putting her marrage on hold so she has time to run around and see if she finds some one better .which she is found a few .. I think two adults should be able to work it out without one moving out . Your husband knows if he wants to be with you or not . It is just a game so he can have his freedom to run around and do what ever he wants . I would not go for my husband moving out cause he needs time to think about if he wants to be with me .. if their is any question about it and he needs to move out then I would say it is over !!!!move on and find some one that WANTS to be with you ..
try some councling ,i know you may not want to , but they really do help ,and it gives you both a setting where enything you say can be honest without the other getting p.o'd. right now i think you both need that honesty, because honesty to yourself is the best way to ';find'; yourself
I think that I would try just giving him his space and taking some time apart (no monday trists) think about where you are and make a list...good and bad things. Then get with hubby and talk about those things toegether. I would not think that if he loves you he would not want to keep you just waiting and worring. Try telling him a date...like a month out...that you want to make a decision on where you are.
tell him that you really want him to come home and tell him he either can come home to you and his kids or tell you what he wants and then leave it up to him but don't go to any hotel with him and tell him if he wants what you can give him he can come home


good luck i have Been there and it is not easy