I need some serious marriage advice?

okay..


i am in north carolina with my boyfriend/fiance who is going to iraq for over a year in less then a week.


well we just had a spur of the moment and got married, we got our lisence yesterday and just got married by the magistrate about an hour and a half ago. neither of my parents know. we went and got rings yesterday too by the way. oh and did i mention im eighteen and hes twenty three.i do love him but im sitting here about to cry cus i feel like what i did was wrong and my heart wasnt in it. when we got back to the hotel i said i dont htink im ready to be married he asked why and i said i feel im too youung and my parents dont know and he said ur parents wont find out.. he does love me but i think some of the reason he did htis is cus he gets paid more in the army..





my question to you is..


how can i fix this? we have to get our marriage certificate friday.. if i dont go get it will that mean it wont be official cus he leaves sunday and i go back to west virginia sunday.. so if i just dont go get it will it not be official? or do you think i can ask them to just rip it up and act like it didnt happen or can they even do that? will i have to file for divorce.





plesae help me i feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life.I need some serious marriage advice?
This situation is very typical actually. I have seen it many times. My hubby is in the Marine Corps and he has guys around him that marry girls just like you and convince them that they will get paid more. I think the difference here is that the guy says he loves you, but what is love when there is no one else to share it with like your friends and most importantly- family? I can see you two getting divorced already as soon as he gets back. I guess if you really dont want to hassle too mush and your heart is not in it, stay married through the deployment, split the cash and then get divorced without telling your folks. Too bad so sad, but such is life. Please just dont spend your days together making each other miserable, you two have the rest of your lives to find someone who makes you happy and who you feel without a DOUBT that you were meant to be. your wedding day should be one of the happiest days in a young womens life and all of those around her, so dont cheat yourself out of this either. All I can say now is to pray about all of this and trust God to speak to you. Hope some of this helped.


Also, since you are an adult, you dont need to get your parents involved legally. Annull the marriage and make sure he is willing to sign any papers as well.I need some serious marriage advice?
Have both of you already signed the marriage license? Because that is what makes it official. Go talk to the people you got your marriage license and certificate with and see what you can do. Honestly, I am not sure if you can ';reverse'; the marriage license. You may actually have to file for divorce. Best wishes!
What a *****! The best thing you can do is cut this guy loose so he can find a mature loving woman whose head is on straight!


And get this straight, a mistake is when you accidentally put a colored scarf in with the whites. This is not a ';mistake';. It was a weak and selfish bad decision. You have really done this guy wrong.
I don't know what to tell you other than you WANTED to be an adult. Now you are one. You have the rest of your life to pay for your mistake.


This is not a game out here!
Go to the magistrate or court asap. There may be a certain time period within which you can have it annulled. Otherwise you will need divorce. They will not just rip it up............
Go back to where you got the marriage license and ask them how you can reverse this.
if you want to be happy then do what your heart says,life is too short to live with unhappiness and regret. tell him that you made a mistake and want to be apart,and go back to west virginia and be happy. you are young and will meet a guy who will sweep you off your feet and you totally love and you want to be with,with no questions.


i agree with the other person that said to go back to the place you will get the certificate from and ask them what to do when youdon't want the marraige anymore.
Calm down. You made a mistake and we have all done thing we arent too proud of. You need to get your marriage annulled. If you think there is a possibility that it wont be legal if the papers are ripped up then call the courts and see what the laws are. I believe you have to get it anulled. You need to talk to your parents and tell them what you have done. They will be upset but not s upset as they will be when they find out months down the road. Explain, they will understand.
Sorry to say you have to file for a annulment. He is in the army and I know how you feel but you aren't suppose to say when he leaves on any website. Just a heads up. If you don't feel you love him enough to be married to him then I say file for a annulment and go that route but yes you will have to file it with the court and have a court date. He will have to sign agreeing to it. Also Im sure after the shock wears off then you wont feel so bad about it. Just know this is going to put stress on the relationship to to mention the stress a deployment is going to put on it. Just talk to him about it then tell your parents and talk to them about it. That way they can help you with the annulment if you want to go that way. They will find out one way or another either way.
weather you pick up the paper or not your marriage is already registered under the law. It's way too late go home and forgot about it. If you do not want to be married to him anymore you would need to file an case and will need to go to court. He will also have to agree on the divorce and sign it.





The best thing you could do right now is to tell your parents and get some help to go through with this, because I think you have made enough mistakes on your own, you need help. Also talk to your husband and tell him how exactly you feel. That will help to get through this easy way, because if he wouldn't agree on a divorce you are downing in hips of trouble, because it's not very easy to get a divorce just by your will.





Most young people today takes these things so easily, marriage is one of the biggest decisions of a person's life, it's a turning point. You shouldn't take it so lightly. DO NOT marry some one just because you can or feel it's a good thing at the time. Take your time to think about it and do it ONLY if you are really ready and surely want to spend the rest of your life with that person. I don't know why most people don't understand this, that's why marriage is becoming a kind of a joke today.
I am sorry that you all got carried away with emotions, but don't worry, its not too late to fix this. You need to look into getting a marriage annulment. You should google it and see what the laws are in your state. An annulment would basically declare the marriage null and void, and in the courts eyes, it never existed. I'd simply suggest that next time you decide to get married, make sure that the man is someone you want to spend the rest of your life. Good luck.
Talk to your parents -- you need to fix something there if you can't talk w/ them.





Talk to your fiancee and tell him that you feel you just aren't ready. he'll be hurt, but should understand. He is probably confused and slightly afraid right now just because of the unknown in his future (i.e. going to Iraq must be scary even if he doesn't show it.)





Check on an annulment. Go back to where you were married and ask what you need to do to get your marriage annulled--do this soon. I believe there is a time limit. Annulments are hands down better than divorces.