I need some advice on marriage what's the norm and what's not?

I am having a very hard time with my marriage it seems to me like our personalities are clashing more and more the older we get.I am a very anal person and I like to get things done and out of the way.He drags everything out as long as possible and is such a procrastinator and it is making me crazy.I am also a very goofy silly person and he is so serious and closed off we have been together since I was 13 that's 14 years together married for 8.He is a good man and a good husband but is it possible that we have just turned into different people should I just suck it up and let go of the fact that if we met today I don't know if we would even consider dating?help me people!!I need some advice on marriage what's the norm and what's not?
my husband and i have days or even weeks where we dont want to talk or even hate each other then we have days where we love each other, its not like it is on the tv, not everyone is loved-up all the time. you have to work at relationships, its more often than not a case of the little things you do or dont do for each other like just a cup of tea and a biscuit while you put your feet up or pouring him a beer and putting the footy on for him. you have been with each other long enough to know what you both like and which little things make you both happy just sit him down and explain what you need from the relationship and ask him what he hopes to get from the relationship. try and talk things through and you both might find that all is needed to find your happy medium is a few little treats every day for each other. hope this helps hun. elli. xI need some advice on marriage what's the norm and what's not?
Personality types aren't that important. It's whether and how you're each able to meet whatever goals you've each set for yourselves. Sounds like you may want different things. If so, the question is whether you're both still willing to negotiate and work together toward those you consider most important. It's that simple (and that challenging). Start by asking him what he wants in life in both the short and long-term and then listen. Allow plenty of silence. You may get a few surprises.
Help you what, disolve your marriage? You have to do that on your own. You had to have known that you were so different all the years, it just didn't happen one day while he was gone to work. So why did you get married if you knew this about him? All I know from my personal experience is that love is hell, and has so many different layers to it that it's sometimes hard to know which layer you really are on. It makes it more difficult when you are younger, love is love then.
You take two separate personalities, put them under one roof and say ';live happily ever after';...not necessarily. Marriage is give and take. The real basis is love and patience. The rest is compromise. Try to work it out by communicating or even counseling and if that doesn't work, you may not be right for each other. Good luck to you.
you have turned into different people. Society because of the church has decided that you are evil should you divorce. Intelligence, and most sociologists, say that marriage as it is set out in this day and age is not designed for people for a life time. Its just the way it is.
been there, done that! That's why it is important for two people to be compatible! I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. If that doesn't work, suggest counseling. However, I'm not sure it's gonna help! You ares till young and have time for another relationship. So don't just ';suck it up';. Be happy or leave. Life is too short
like someone else said. it's either counseling and dealing with the fact that YES you are two different people who look at things differently. and learn to appreciate that about the other person....and stay married and committed.....





or








divorce.
There is no ';norm';.





People shouldn't get involved at 13 - they don't even know who they are. Too bad you did that.








Just because he is a procrastinator doesn't mean YOU have to let it bother you. That is your choice.
Stop worrying about what is the ';norm'; and work on your marriage.


This is possibly the ';for worse'; part that you talked about in your vows.....so be true to your word and work through it.
Well everyone changes in marriage. Just suck it up and work through it with him there is no need to look so deeply into this.
you mentioned the word *anal* i just that i'd tell you that..
If you have been together since you guys were 13 and 14, I don't think you should take your personalities today and make it seem like they are uncompatible. You two have done a great deal of changing already together, heck 13 to 16 and even to 21 are life marks and such big and different stages in peoples lives. I am sure in growing up, you both had your own changes and well you obviously have stayed together.





Like some have already said, it is a marriage and changing is a given for both of you, you are to give and take and to work things out with love, no matter if he does things different from you. Don't let little things of his personality bother you soo much, I am sure there is things about you he may not like either, but that doesn't mean you should think of breaking off your marriage, heck no! Love each other, do things together, comprimise if you have to for each other. It is just another life mark to get through, just as it was when you were younger.
Have you considered going to Marriage counseling? Or talking to him about your issues?





You could take a piece of paper, write down everything you have problems with and exchange them. I heard that sometimes helps.





No marriage is ';normal';. There is always going to be some kind of issue. Work on making it work. It sounds like you are asking in hopes of getting the answer you already know. Go with your heart.





But you need to talk to him. Or else nothing will get better.





And people change over time. That fact is never going to change.





';Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.';





';One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple do not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.';





';What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down -- that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off.';





';A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.';





';To keep your marriage brimming,


With love in the loving cup,


Whenever you're wrong admit it;


Whenever you're right shut up.';





';Getting a dog is like getting married. It teaches you to be less self-centered, to accept sudden, surprising outbursts of affection, and not to be upset by a few scratches on your car.';
Honestly speaking, if you have been together since you were thirteen and there has been no one else, than a part of you is depressed that you missed out on a great deal of your youth. When people get together this young it is usually a recipe for disaster. You are still with him, so there must be something to it, however, I believe part of you wishs you had been more free in your youth and that is a hard pill to swallow. Anyone who gets married younger than 25 or 26 is nuts.