I need marriage advice, i keep bringing the past into our marriage?

ive been with my husband for 4 years married 2 years outta those 4. anyway a year ago my mother in law got in the middle of a big fight we had.she took his side and basically told me off that i was no good for him, he was there as she was telling me all the nasty things and never stood up for me.i eventually forgave her, but i still have that on my mind.everything she does just buggs me. i dont like being around her at all but i still try to make the best of it.everytime we fight i bring that up to my husband how he just let her tell me off without defending me. i get so angry just thinking about it.my son goes over to her house often and i feel guilty because i talk crap about her with my husband and i know im hurting him by doing this.i just need advice to get over what she said to me, i love my husband and i know i cant change my mother in law.I need marriage advice, i keep bringing the past into our marriage?
You have a big resentment that's coloring everything you do and it's affecting the people you love the most.





What did you really expect your husband to do. Take his mother over his knee and beat her on the butt in front of you? And then make her bow down to you? Or ask for your forgiveness?





Probably won't happen.





All you can do is change you and your attitudes.I need marriage advice, i keep bringing the past into our marriage?
You just need to drop it. Holding a grudge will only cause tension between you and your husband. In Laws are not always easy to deal with, but its not your husbands fault that they are this way. Even though I believe he should have spoken up a little when his mother was telling you off the fact remains that he didn't and you bringing it up over and over wont change that. Hopefully if something like this ever happens again he will open his mouth.
You know what they say - forgiveness is divine. What is the point in harboring resentment for things said during an (apparently stupid) argument? If you could forgive your husband you can forgive her...





Also - when you forgive - you also (on some level) have to let it go...that means you don't bring it up. Marriage isn't about tallying up bad decisions or mistakes and dropping them out there when you are mad. That is one of life's little lessons your learn as you mature...
OMG! glad to hear I am not the only one who married a MaMa's boy. I rode that roller coaster for 15 yrs and it never gets better and you will never be good enough for MaMa's little boy. Count your losses and RUN FOR THE HILLS!


Best Wishes
I'm sorry but you aren't married to much of a man if he has to let mommy do his battles. If there are no children involved I'd be looking for the exit.
your question shows awareness of the problem and the solution. you can get over this, by knowing that men just dont think the same way women do. it is a hormone thing and i know he is surely on your side. she was out of line and could have been having a terrible day that had nothing to do with you. resolve to begin again fresh and new and put this behind you and the satisfaction you get from that will benefit you so much. i find that with a difficult person a knowing '; that's sue!'; instead of a long drawn out complaint helps difuse the annoyance, and helps bring acceptance of the others quirks. it also takes away their power to upset you.





you are smart to want to be better. read 'the proper care and feeding of marriage' by dr laura , and, ' do one thing different' a book about solving problems.
At the end of the day, it's your husband %26amp; son's opinion of you that matters, not your mother-in-law's. There are some people in life that you are never gonna get along with, period. So, focus on making your relationship with your husband %26amp; your son the best that you can. When she annoys you, try to just brush it off. Again, her opinion doesn't matter. Don't allow her to drive a wedge between you %26amp; your family.





Bringing this up with your husband only when you're fighting is not a good idea. At that point, he prob thinks ur just venting %26amp; doesn't realize how truly hurt you are over it. If it was me, I would sit down %26amp; talk to him about it when we are both calm.





If it was me, I would do my best to be the bigger person, %26amp; I bet ur husband will eventullay get sick of her crap %26amp; defend you without you having to ask him to.
put it in the past and hopefully he learned something. at the time he probly really wasn't sure what to do. his wife, his mom. i'm sure he realized he screwed up. try to keep the past in the past, and really try to keep it away from your son. most woman can't stand their mother-n-laws but you just have to deal with it if you love him and if he loves you, next time he will stick up for you. i think you just need to try and stop bringing it up so this doesn't hurt your relationship. i mean if this is an ongoing thing, i would not stay, but just once, let it go and give him a chance. guys don't always think and know how to handle situations especally between wife and mom. hopefully this does not happen again but if it does i'm sure he'll handle it differently.