Anyone have any advice on relationships, when your bf has teen children from a previous marriage?

I've been dating a man who has custody of his two teenage daughters now for about 10 months. We are happy together, but his daughters wont even say hi to me when I go over there. They went through some heavy stuff with their parents divorce. I dont really know what to do to break the tension between the girls and I . Anyone have any advice they can give me ?Anyone have any advice on relationships, when your bf has teen children from a previous marriage?
Been there done that, my significant other of 11 years had his daughter who was at the time 11, and her Mother and Father just thought that the world revolved around her. Gifts on holidays and her birthday and she felt that she was suppose to get gifts and never said thank you or even acknowledged me. Even now, recently, she was in a cousin's wedding on her father's side and of course the cousin invited her Mother, who sat in the corner all during the reception eying me, I had the time of my life. Okay, my advice is, do your best to be the adult and when it comes time for you to claim your ground, don't hold your tongue. Be yourself and don't push yourself on them, let time take its course, but then again, don't try to be their friend, you will be one of the role models in their life whether you want to be or not, so do the best you can and that is all you can do. God Bless.Anyone have any advice on relationships, when your bf has teen children from a previous marriage?
Honey, just give them time.





My parents went through a heavy divorce before my dad started dating again, and his girlfriends would try to take the place of my mom, and when the acted like that, we did not get along, it only pushed them away from me.





What I wanted was one of his girlfriends to be my friend, and just being herself, one who did not try to take the place of my mother, and one who actually understood what my sister and I were going through.





Just give the children time, and just be yourself, do not try to smother them my being their mother, they are worried and they feel threatened that you will get married to him and try to take their mother's place.





When the time comes, and it will, just reassure them that you will never try and take their mother's place, you respect that, just let them know that you will be there to be their friend when they need it, and there will come a time when they will need you as their friend, once they are reassured, then they will accept you.





Maby you and their father can talk to them, and reassure them of this fact. It is so unfortunate, but children to suffer through a nasty divorce, and they do have a lot of issues bottled up and it is important for you and your boyfriend and the mother to sit down with them and discuss this with them, so they will feel better.





Sit down with the children, they are the most important, it is so unfortunate that our children of the future get the raw end of the divorce and the parents do not even know how badly they are suffering.
Tell your man you didn't do anything to his daughters and if he thinks it okay for them to treat people anyway they want, there will be no ';Us.';
1. Don't parent.


2. Be a friend and that is all. They don't need any more parents.


3. Be human. Empathize. Don't try too hard. Start small. Stay polite and stay the adult. Don't let them get you down.


4. Be honest and let them know you aren't moving in and taking over and that they have choices about how this is going.








You sound like you can see it from their side and understand their feelings. I applaud you for that. That is how a friendship starts. Look at their interests. Be patient. Keep your cool. Be dependable. Do little things that show you care and keep doing them, no matter how bratty they are. Ask them one on one what would help/work to help you become friends?





There is no easy answer. Please don't even marry this guy if you and the kids don't form some kind of relationship. Ask any of us who have thought we could fix it and you will find you can't and that it will wreck your marriage before it starts. Be sure not to whine or say anything negative about them to their dad. Never put down their mom no matter what she does. Empathize with what they are going through, but don't push it. Just be there, be kind, be dependable and let them learn to trust you.





Teens are pretty self-centered. Offer to take them where they want to go. They talk best in the car, without direct eye contact. Talk about nonsense--music, boys, etc. Hang in there and keep your great attitude. They will eventually stop seeing you as a threat.





Please don't ever attempt to parent them at all. It is just not your job and they will never tolerate it. It is dad's job only. Good luck to you all.





There is a lot of information on the net. With your great attitude, I imagine you'll work your way into their hearts eventually.
Don't try to be their mother. Support them but don't be overbearing and keep in mind he is a father first and they will occupy a huge portion of his time. It's okay to do activities with all four of you, but with ';family'; type things unless it's to the point of marriage or engagement you may need to stay at home. Give them some time because it is still fairly new and if they think you are worthy of him then they will slowly incorporate you into their lives.





They shouldn't rule every decision but their thoughts, feelings and mindset are paramount in these situations.

acne cream

Serious question for Muslim brothers and sisters, regarding marriage... Please offer advice?

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.





I have a serious question, and would like the input of my sisters and brothers here, inshallah. Please, no hateful answers. I know the opinion of my friends and family, and would like input.





Here is the situation: A sister has reverted ~*after*~ marriage, and has several beautiful children Alhamdulillah, whom she prays with. However, her husband has rejected Islam, and has asked her to pray where she is ';out of the way';, and has also said he does not wish for his children to be taught ';any religion';. They had looked into separation, however she asked him to reconsider.





The most common answer is for her to leave the marriage immediately, however there is a problem with this. She has been raising the children and taking care of the home for nearly 10 years, and thus has nothing of her own... so if they were to divorce, he would have custody of the children, and would raise them as atheists.





Please... advice?





Jazak'Allahu khairan.Serious question for Muslim brothers and sisters, regarding marriage... Please offer advice?
As salaam o alaykum,


First of all i will pray to Allah subhanahu taala for her help secretly and give hidayah to her husband Ameen.....





sister, actually islam belives that we as a humen being can not feed or look after any body, it is Allah subhanahu taala WHO takes cares of every body ......





regarding this issue... the situation of marriage is imporatant if at the time of marriage itself the man was not converted to islam then the marriage itself is not valid....and u know islam makes easy ways for all... but we makes it difficult by our own hands... this is such kind of situation...........


if u read the history of islam in early days definatly u will find the answers... where alike many case were there.. and our Prophit MOHAMMAD (PUH) has shown them ways.......





may Allah make the way easy for her......Serious question for Muslim brothers and sisters, regarding marriage... Please offer advice?
It is better for her to separate from current Husband and seek help from Government authority for Kids.


Even then she can get support from her ex- husband for kids.


Most important ask Allah Almighty for help, I guarantee, she will through this situation very successfully insh Allah.


I would also advice to get help from local Islamic center as well.


May Allah help you and your sister to get through this situation happily and according to Islamic way, Amen.
let her be patient, find a good job, and become more independent. and then ask for divorce for this man. also she can ask muslims to help her financially. some muslims with good income will be willing to help their sister for her cause. she can create flayer of her situation and put it in a mosque that she needs help.
She should be a good Muslim and submit to her husband. She should not teach those innocent children islam!





God Bless.
Raise them as atheists. That would be the best and most sensible option.
You gave no information as to where your sister is living. If it is in the USA, she can seek custody of her children and support from their father. Also, there are numerous social services available to help her get on her feet.





Custody can also be shared. When the children are with him, he'll teach them his way. When they are with her, she'll teach them about her religion.





The big problem will be to not do this in a way which is harmful to the children. Then when they are of age, they can make their own choice as to how they want to live their lives.





Your sister needs to let her children know she loves them with all her heart no matter which choice they make.





I'm not Muslim but hope this helps.
I'm no Muslim just an average guy, but I hope you read my humble opinion.





I think, to force a religion on someone, even if they are just kids, is not right. Especially if that causes separation and the children to grow up in a broken family.





Religion should not be a concern, and adults should be able put their personal(!) beliefs aside for the sake of their children, family and love, perhaps. So the mom should step aside and let the kids grow up as atheists, but at least in a real family, which is definitely their best interest. Your sister needs to think about what is more important in her life, religion or her children?





After the children grow up they can (and certainly will) make their own decision whether they want to be atheists or convert to Islam (or something else). But religion should always be someone's personal, most private, choice and not forced on them (and kids are not an exception either).
This is a tough situation. Most people are very close-minded and are threatened by anything that is different but the truth of the matter is SHE is their mother and she should not hide who she is or where she comes from. Just like she doesn't ask her husband to ';pretend'; to be religious. Her kids have a right to know their roots, even if they grow up and have different beliefs than hers (or her husbands). The kids will know what is right for them when they are old enough to decide for themselves. Different people have all types of different beliefs now days and it is ignorant of him to think that they won't be exposed to it. She should be strong in the way she raises her children and should proud of who she is. She is not a bad person because she believes in something and no one has the right to judge her except God. The kids come first. If he can't accept that then maybe he needs to talk to a therapist. Good luck.
since a muslim woman can not marry a non ,muslim,therefore this marriage is nullified,if at all she has become muslim,why now the faith in Allah absent pertaining to her present situation ?


she has taken a very positive step,now she MUST rely and Trust allah that Allah will help her out of her problems,and Insha Allah,Allah will give her strength and show her the path,of peace

Astrological advice about education and marriage based on d.o.b.?

Am I manglik? How will that affect my education / marriage? Any remedies?


What is in store for me astrologically based on my place and date of birth?


I am most interested in knowing about difficulties foreseen in education, marriage and begetting children, as well as my health and health of relatives.





DOB: 9-May-1985


Time: 08:10pm


Place: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India.Astrological advice about education and marriage based on d.o.b.?
So many questions. As you want to know the difficulties you will face, i will enumerate some which may happen from time to time as per the timing and dasha. If you are pursuing the field relating to law or the field directly related to public that will be better for you. There may arise difficulties to pursue your field not because of any opposition but because of your health. You may have stomach/intestine problems. If you are female may face hormonal imbalance/menstrual problems. Some may suggest that you are not manglik as Sat and Rahu aspect in Lagna and D-9 respectively but my experience shows that such charts do favour troubles in married life combining with other factors. 2-3 relations are to be broken before maturing the marriage proposal. After marriage also difficulties are there, more maturity will be required to put in. You may also face problem in right Fallopian tube which may give trouble in child bearing, so take on yoga and pranayama well in advance which will also help you to overcome other health problems.Astrological advice about education and marriage based on d.o.b.?
yes you are a manglik with Mars in 7th house but itrs not necessry it will create problem in your matrriage.


Name: Fq


Sex: Female


Date of Birth: 9/5/1985


Time of Birth: 20:10:00


Place: Mumbai Latitude: 19:0:N Longitude: 72:48:E


Country: India Zone Time: 82:30:E





Personal Details


Lagan(Ascendent) Scorpio


Lagan Swami(Ascendent Lord) Mars


Rashi(Moon Sign) Sagittarius


Rashi Swami(Moon Sign Lord) Jupt


Nakshatra(Constellation) U. Asdha


Nakshatra Swami(Constellation Lord) Sun


Charan 1


Yoga Subha


Karan Gara


Janam Namakshar(Birth Name Character) BHE


Surya Rashi(Sun Sign) Taurus


Varana Brahmin


Vashya Chatuspad


Yoni Nakul


Gana Manushya


Nadi Antya


Varga Musaka








Planetary Positions


Planet Dir/Ret Speed Degrees Sign


Ascendant ---- ---- 25掳48'16'' Scorpio


Sun Dir 28掳59'38'' 25掳15'32'' Aries


Moon Dir 13掳52'19'' 29掳41'43'' Sagittarius


Mars Dir 20掳35'28'' 15掳29'27'' Taurus


Mercury Dir 9掳46'7'' 0掳1'54'' Aries


Jupiter Dir 2掳24'25'' 22掳14'22'' Capricornus


Venus Dir 14掳20'7'' 16掳5'25'' Pisces


Saturn Ret 2掳13'24'' 1掳38'28'' Scorpio


Rahu Ret 1掳35'15'' 24掳41'19'' Aries


Ketu Ret 1掳35'15'' 24掳41'19'' Libra


Uranus Ret 1掳1'55'' 23掳26'13'' Scorpio


Neptune Ret 0掳30'45'' 9掳39'30'' Sagittarius


Pluto Ret 0掳48'19'' 9掳16'0'' Libra





Ascendant Chart Moon Chart











Lagan Prediction


SCORPIO ASCENDANT





This is the eighth sign of the zodiac whose lord are mars. IV step of vishaka all the steps of anuradha and jyestha come under the purview of this sign. You are born in Scorpio ascendance. You are of medium height, wheatish complexion and with a broad fore head. You are vigorous, fat, robust, healthy, and majestic. You are religious; full of quest, interest is complex subject sand also knower of complex knowledge. You are fond of tourism you are of hard, rigid, stern and brave. You people are revengeful and do not target enmity so easily. Your attitude is sharp. Ordinarily you are sober by nature due to your magnetic personality people get attracted towards you the number of your friends is very large you also help your friends. You are opportunist and do boasting about your self.





You are imaginative type of person you make many plans but as soon as the work starts you loose interest and leave the work unaccomplished. You suffer losses due to believing other people prepositions at once. After your middle age you are tending to get inclined towards spiritualism. You are master of innovations and modernity. Your family life is average happy and harmonious. Even dissent existing between the couple you are successful in finding a way out of appeasement. Attitude of your off springs is just ordinarily satisfactory. You are successful in the field of academics. You are prone to become philosopher, professor, reader, writer, poet, dramatist or a singer. You are prone to make a permanent mart of popularity. You are prone to serve in the departments of espionage, military, and industrial sectors. Your interest in the field of active politics can give you prominence in this field also. Your attributed possible ailments can be of fever, headaches, blood pressure, throat and chest excessiveness of wind and cough injuries burns can also create worries for you.
born on thrus day, krishna paksha shasti,


uttarashada-1 vruchika lagna, dhanu rasi


mars in 7th , kalatra stana %26amp; in sukra house, ,


so kuja dosha effect , for some extent


moon/kuja in 6/8


sani in lagna


and in samasaptaka with kuja


hence they will play their role


better consult either in person or in proxy , a competent one nearer to, to have doubts cleared

Christians only please: I need some advice about my marriage!! I have been married 12 yrs .?

After separating , i know God is not pleased with divorce, but I have been emotionally and verbally abused by him, and i just couldn't take it no more. My question is should i go back, he has said he has changed and give his heart to God, and I just don't have no feeling there to hug him or kiss him or have sex with him. I just can't seem to have any faith or confidence in him at all! I am deeply seeking God for answers, but i just wanted to know if you think I should go back to him, even though my feeling for his is gone. I don't want to sin, I am 51 yrs old, and he does offer me security (I am disabled).. Please pray for me and any advice would be very appreciated, thanks so much God Bless YouChristians only please: I need some advice about my marriage!! I have been married 12 yrs .?
Marriage is the creation of God. Yes, it was made by the Father and therefore sacred. But you are the Father's precious daughter and Jesus shed his blood for you. When a father on earth has a daughter being abused, he automatically wants to protect her. Your heavenly Father wants to protect you also. Remember, you are the head and not the tail. Christ came so that we might have abundant life. He came so that we could live in victory. God does not expect you to be an emotional or physical punching bag for a guy who cannot control his temper. If you are in danger, do not live with him. If he says he has changed, stay separated from him for a time and see whether he really has. See if he goes to church and see what he does and how he acts. If you find after a lengthy separation that he is telling the truth, speak to him about getting counseling for his temper. The part about forgiveness is important, you can forgive and start over and rekindle those feelings again. All things are possible with God.Whatever your problem, God is bigger than your problem. He can and does heal marriages. If he is really serious about accepting Christ, this would be a wonderful thing. But you have to determine if he is really telling the truth or just trying to lure you back. To go back now when you may be in danger, would be an awful mistake. God did not create you to be abused. You are a daughter of the King! No person has a right to mistreat you! If, after you have observed him for a while and see he has not really changed, then you have done all you can and I think you should go on. When one door closes, God will open another door for you! He created us to be happy. It is your right to have victory through Christ. God bless you and I will be praying for you.Christians only please: I need some advice about my marriage!! I have been married 12 yrs .?
I can only tell you that if he truly wants to change and be the husband he says he will be, that you can learn to love him again. I am speaking from personal experience but it may not last forever as they have a tendency to get complacent after they get secure. The bible tells us to forgive 70 times 70 and that is a lot! It is very hard to do but if he tells you he will be a godly man it may be worth the risk of trying again. Believe me I know what you are feeling as I am going through the same thing myself but my husband has not wanted to have a relationship with God and that is the only way it can work. Two things could happen 1. You go back and he is the same miserable lot and you have lost more time..2. He is the Godly man that you could have a wonderful marriage.....I don't know, I guess I would take the risk but lay down rules before you go......bless you
I think you should tell him that you are willing to go back, but first he must prove himself by commiting to attend a good Bible believing church (NOT a dead perfunctory one or a cult). He must allow for counseling for the both of you, so it must be a church that offers that. Then both of you need to get counseling from a spirit-filled counseler, seperately and together. Most of all, if he is truly seeking to serve God, it will show in his attitude not just towards you, but towards God and God;s people and God's house and most of all, God's Word, the Bible. Take it slow, stay seperated for awhile while he has a chance to show his true colors. Don't just jump back in immediately. God bless!
As a child of Father God and one who has also been abandoned by a husband after 28 years, I advise you not to ask for such important advice from people here. Remember that James teaches us that any who need wisdom should ask of Father God. We should not put our faith in humans. Seek the kingdom of God first, and everything you need will be added to you.(Matthew, chapter 5)
Dump the butt hole. Don't mess up your life and go back to him. You will destroy any chance of happiness for the rest or your life. He can pretend to be a Christian all day that's not helping you. I know a lot of Christians are going to advise you to go back. Don't listen. It's your life forget the bum and start living. Find you a new man. A kind and gentle man who will love you forever. BB
He is called to love you as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.


That is not an abusive, hurtful relationship - rather one of selflessness ,protection and fierce loyalty.


I would watch him from afar for awhile- see if he indeed has the fruits of the Spirit he claims. Continue to pray for him, and that God would reveal his sincerity ( or lies) to you.


DO NOT stay away from church if he goes - go, with other women of God; surround ytourself with them, and confess this to them that they might uplift you, and if needed, to shield you.





Trust broken is a gut and back wound - it heals slowly and usually leaves scars. Ask God to make him anew, and you will be healed in the process.
Be strong don't go back.





Hate me for being and atheist and answering your question, but be strong and don't go back please. Think of it this way. It's better for him if you don't go back.
Voodoid is a crazy pig who does nothing but blame men for her faults dont be like her.
I certainly hope you are not taking the advice of some of the STUPID people here who are trying to guilt you into returning to an abusive husband.





I work for a police department and have seen WAY too many women and children battered physically and mentally by their abusive husbands or boyfriends and they still RETURN TO THEM. It's heartbreaking.





It's INSANITY to return to an abusive relationship, not piety.
I know this sounds a bit ';preachy';, but ALL of your security comes from the LORD. Even when you are with this man, it is God who provides for you.


I know pretty much where you are, and the angst you are suffering. What a dilemma.


How about this:


While you continue to pray about your circumstance, continue to pray for HIM. Not emotionally, but from the head as well as the heart.


While you are praying, ask him to prove himself. Just like you did when you were dating.


When people are courting, they are usually on their best behavior. But the longer they are together, the more familiar they become, and the ';little things'; begin to show up.


After a while, you should be able to tell if he ';has changed his spots'; as it were.(Jer. 13:23)


As you pray, ask the Lord to lift him up, and watch him to see if he really is on fire for the LORD, or if he is merely running a game on you.


Give it a lot of time. Don't jump into anything.


Be patient, and ask him to be patient also. Ask him to pray with you. This will certainly reveal the man's heart.


Be careful also that you don't slip back into old habits either, after all you don't want to press any of his buttons.


Allow Jesus to heal you, and heal your husband.


Ps.18:30





Blessings upon you and a prayer for you.
Be patient. If he has truly given his life to Christ, and not using 'church' just to get you back (as many do), he will treat you with the love and respect that he should. God will give you the love for him, again and the grace to be with him. Follow your peace, and trust God. He calls His children to live in peaceful dwelling places.
I wouldn't go back. If you did go back, would you be happy?! It sounds like you wouldn't. Nobody deserves to be abused and you don't have to put up with it. I'll pray for you and keep the faith.
You might start by going to counseling together. You can set an appointment with a good pastor for counseling too. I think this would be a big step toward helping. You might want to consider being in each others present sort of part time. Not over night but watch TV together, go out together someplace. Kind of like date him for awhile and get an idea what he's like now. It might be good to have him over AND have other friends over at the same time. See how he acts. See what he says to them. Maybe ask a friend to privately ask him what his plans are, see if he is serious about getting back together etc. Pray about it... Hope this helps.
GOD is capable of anything, including changing people's hearts (and feelings and behavior). HE will give us the best of everything if we ask HIM. HE respects marriage as a covenant, not a contract.





Please go to Charlyne Cares or Rejoice Marriage Ministries. They offer lots of free material and an abundance of hope, all scripturally based. GOD does heal hurting marriages.





I will be praying for you. May GOD bless you.
Everything that Skypiercer said in his answer is correct, please follow it! it is exactly what I would have said.





I would add the following, please pick up any one or all of these books they are inspired by the Holy Bible and will drastically change your marriage for the better:


Love %26amp; Respect


Every Woman's Battle


Every Man's Battle (for husband)


5 Love Languages


Power of a Praying Wife





All these books are mere shadows of the Word of God, the Holy Bible.





You've invested 12 years of your life in this man, do you feel he deserves another chance? I think Satan wants to tear the two of you apart. Marriage was created by God to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church, don't destroy that picture.


Remember that God HATES divorce, if there is any way possible to avoid then please do so. I know that if the two of you put CHRIST in the center of your marriage and wind yourself around HIM (like a three fold cord) then your marriage will succeed. I will pray for you and God bless!





EDIT- I believe that love is an ACT, it is something you do, not something you feel. I don't believe that people can fall ';out'; of love, I think they just stop doing. He hurt you, and you stopped loving him. It's entirely possible to start loving him back, especially if he is willing. Please pick up one of those books I mentioned, I think they will really help you, especially Love %26amp; Respect. I am here anytime you want to email me for support. Oh and please don't listen to that voodooit person down there, he/she is NOT a Christian. God bless you!
Hi, I'm not a Christian, but I do feel for you.





If it doesn't feel right, I don't think you should go back to him. In Christian language I'd say that was God speaking to you through your inner voice.
god will understand what you are doing..


if you feel that its not safe then leave.


but dont shut him out of your life. continue to be friends and if you think that he has the strength to change then you can go back to him.





i hope you work things out and that, in the end, it will all turn out fine.





god bless.
Forgive him as christ forgave you and you 'll definitely be lead by Gog's spirit on how effectivelly to handle the issue but your feeling has nothing to do here,it will only glue you to the past but you need to move on most importantly switch from focusing his faults to his virtues.what do you want in your husband that is missing %26amp;what do you see in him that u d'nt want try PRAYER. after all he said he has giving his heart to God you're still relivant in that home if you find it hard to believe him then believe God'WORD';love believe the best of every person (icor13:7 amp).be weary of some wicked and stupid advice God is the only one who holds the key to joy and happiness learn to stick only to His advice on all matters may you never miss it now %26amp; ever.AMEN
I went through the same thing. I also have a disibility and he use to call me very hurtful names about my disibility. I left him and moved away. The children and I are a lot happier and I feel better. Turn your troubles to God, I did and he blessed me in many ways. I will keep you in my prayers





God Bless You
Can a leopard change his spots? That was what I asked myself years ago. I left my husband once - this was along long time ago. The separation lasted 3 months during which time he kept swearing that he now understood what was making me so unhappy and that he has changed... promised to be better and that we were going to be so happy again. I was a Christian already at the time and he even promised to come with me to Bible Studies and church etc etc. So I went back. Not two months after my return, he suddenly said to me that he couldn't beleive ';those things'; in the Bible and then just went back to being his abusive self. Three years later (I was still praying and praying for him) he left me for another woman. In the midst of the most terrible depression I have ever experienced, I asked myself, ';Can a leopard change his spots?'; The answer is of course, ';No.';





Unless your husband is a born again Christian with the Spirit of God enabling him, he cannot change his character either.





My advice is do not rush back to your husband... watch and pray. Can you live without him? Can you live with him and go on like before? Do you beleive he is really born again and sincere in his Christian walk?





God desires that we live in peace and enjoy the good gifts that He has given and contribute something positive and good to His world. How can it serve God to go back and endure an abusive relationship?





If you decide NOT to go back to your husband, you do understand that you cannot remarry, don't you?





I myself have never remarried and I must say, I am much much more happy now that I had ever been with my ex-husband.
Please escuse the rude and outright lack of understanding indicated by most of these post. As a woman of 51 and a christian you are bound by your oath before God and man. It is the custom of both men and woman today to throw away marriage like a pair of socks in these times. Yeat even God declares a marriage however bad a blessed relationship. After 12 years with this man your eyes were all of the sudden opened to the things he does that displease you, Another way to say that is he is human and errors and you have a blank in your eyes and are judging him instead of putting on understanding.


As a christian you are informed that we have real fow in this world his name is satan, he desires to cause destruction in marriages. And he does that thru people lacking wisdom as to how he works via people. In your case you became blinded to your husbands good trates and now focus on his bad trates. In other words you have replaced his position of respect which you once held him with with a position of loathing. As you have pointed to his conduct and are accusing him and are not claiming any of the responsibility for any of the problems in the marriage there exist a witness in the lack of things said that you have not come to examine your part in all this.


Marriage unlike most activities in life takes work. The greatest amount of work we can undertake in a marriage is that of understanding the other persons needs. I am sure you and your husband have not really given any time or real effert to growing your common understanding of one another. In our nations today our education system fails our children on so many different levels that it should be overhauled. Also it does not instruct our natons children about one of the most important aspects of life. That of wisdom and knowedge. In the bible King Solomon speaks to both of these items, Wisdom is to be sought after by seeking good counsel, for my much counsel a matter is know. And knowedge, Knowedge establish a thing.


In the beginning of your marriage you had limited knowedge of your husband yeat you respected him and loved him as he was. As your marriage grow older you begain to put wisdom away and look as a marriage as a common things. Many even do so with salvation. Yeat it is not a uncommon thing.


I am going to recommend a book for you that does not deal with marriage really. It title is ';the richest man who ever lived'; it is about solomons wisdom. There also are two sections in it about marriages and communications. I believe these book will provide you with some great tools to build upon.


As you and he have hit the 12 yeat mark, and this is when most marriages fail apart, believe it of not. Your marriage is rebuildable. I do not recommend that you and he come togeither until you both have read this book togeither and learned about one another and your pardners needs, And also about wisdom in marriage. These tools are required for a strong marriage that will last and will grow.


My hope and God hope is that you will both be blesed in your lives. The best God can do in any marriage is dependant on the authority you give him in the marriage. Have you and your husband made God the center of your marriage. A three fold chord is not eaisly broken. I subject that you allow God to be the center of your marriage and your other relationship and every aspect of your life. I have noticed you like the security your husband offers, indeed woman need that but more then that is your security in God must come first.


If you and your husband agree move back in with him but, for 6 months do not engage in any physical relationship. Live in seperate rooms. But in all other areas of your relationship live as husband and wife. And work on common wisdom in this time. And gain knowedge of one another. Do not rust it at all. Also seek God in prayer and both your and he must forgive All. Before you start the next leg of the journey. God bless.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.





I Corinthians 7:11


New International Version





agree?

Advice needed for co-dependent marriage?

I have been told by a counselor that I am co-dependent, and this is probably the reason I have stayed in an unsatisfying marriage for over 20 years. I would rather be miserable, and feel safe with what I have at home, than divorce her and venture out on my own. However, I am on the verge of finally breaking free and leaving.





Is there anyone out there who has delt with this and how did it work out for you? Advice needed for co-dependent marriage?
It sounds like you have some self esteem and self confidence issues.





Maybe these are the issues that you need to address in counseling and it may help to answer some of your other questions.Advice needed for co-dependent marriage?
I was also in a co-dependent relationship and stayed because at the time I was afraid to be alone. I finally had enough and took that big plunge and left him. Whenever I look back I cannot believe I every even saw anything in him and I am so very grateful that I left. I grew from that experience as I was forced to face myself and all of my fears and learned it wasn't so bad being alone after all. I advanced on my education and got a great job where I became financially stable and loved how it felt to be independent. But that was many years ago. I am now married to a great guy and I could not be happier. Continue on your therapy so that you can find the guidance to walk you through gaining your independence. The self respect and the respect you get from others when you are independent is worth it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, doing something about it is the next step. Good luck to you!
I had to completely leave the area and move to a new culture (Japan) to get over it. I had to get therapy for over a year and was really depressed at first. It was over 2 years before I starting dating after the breakup.





A little over 3 years later I met and married a wonderful woman from the Philippines and have been married for over 8 years now and been living in the Philippines for the last 6 years. I am very happy now and evan through I went through allot of emotional pain, it was all worth it in the end.





Good luck to you.

Any advice for my marriage?

Whenever I go to work, my husband looks at porn on the internet. I've even come home to find semen-soaked paper towel in the garbage. In the past I would ask him about it and he would apologize. I've written him a letter to tell him exactly how I feel and it was ignored. Now whenever I bring it up he denies it. He says he has no idea what I'm talking about. He was doing this while I was pregnant, we have 10 month old. I get home and there's a mountain of dirty dishes. He says he couldn't do them because he was so tired, but then I find that he was looking at porn. So apparently he did his thing and then passed out. I'm trying to understand, but it's hard when he won't talk to me about it. Maybe he's embarrassed, I don't know. I wish I didn't have such a problem with it, it just makes me feel so insecure. A long time ago he made a comment that masturbating was like having sex with whoever your thinking about. I keep thinking about that and it's driving me crazy.Any advice for my marriage?
Your husband has no reason to be embarressed that he was masterbating. Or that he was looking at porn. These are completely normal activities for a man, married or not. I don鈥檛 understand why so many women are heartbroken to find out that their men do this. They鈥檝e been doing it since they were ten. It doesn鈥檛 mean he doesn鈥檛 love you, doesn鈥檛 mean you don鈥檛 satisfy him, it is simply a natural biological act that men are programmed to do. You are treating him like a child, and acting like a child yourself. It is time to grow up and accept that adult married men jack off. As for the dishes鈥? If you asked him to do the dishes and he didn鈥檛 then I鈥檇 address that with him. But that has nothing to do with the masturbation. It doesn鈥檛 take 8 hours for a man to jack off. But honest to god, if that is the biggest problem in your marriage, you better start counting your blessings.Any advice for my marriage?
take him to a counsellor..


If you want a professional view of your relationship problems, try this link. This guy (relationship doctor) really helps people out. Try it. I feel its genuine.


http://relationship-doctor.blogspot.com
I don't have an issue with my hubby looking at porn. But it sounds like your husband is addicted. This is not normal and he is doing it to the neglict of other things.





He needs help. Look at these sites.


http://www.fishthe.net/porn_help.html


http://www.no-porn.com/
Your husband has a problem. You need to get him to see someone for that addiction and also you both need to see a marriage counselor.





You are not at fault. This is not about you. This is HIS problem. He has a problem. (Did you hear me yet?)





Get help for you and your family or get out.
i would bring it up again and ask him why he does it. i too would go online when hes not there and block all porn site. you can do that. hope all works out
He must have been drunk when he said that, because masturbation is definitely not as good as having sex with a real person. It's pretty hilarious, when you think about it, that you go through the trash to find used paper towels, isn't it? Well, it's either funny or it's sad.





You would do well to tell yourself repeatedly, until it sinks in, that your husband looking at porn does absolutely nothing to you. It harms you in no way whatsoever. Dishes? Please, treat that as a separate issue. There's no need for lumping the equitable distribution of household chores in with masturbation. Handle one issue at a time. In this case, this issue is chores. Then, work on making porn a non-issue in your mind, as it should be.





My advice for your marriage is for you to stop worrying about something so insignificant as porn and masturbation.
When it starts interfering with your real-life relationship or your real-life activities, watching porn becomes a problem.





I would recommend professional help, because it sounds like he may have an addiction.

I need a legal advice for my marriage and my age is 21 and her 20 ,both of our parents agreed for our marriag?

as i am going to abroad for further studies ,her parents are agreed only when i marry her before i leave to abroad ,so my problem is as we don't have minimum age for marriage and so please tell us where to marry her and as I am a cristian and she is an hindu. But marriage is compulsory so give us your valuable advice for me and i will be thankful for you ,and i will be leaving this month 30 only so give yor advice .I need a legal advice for my marriage and my age is 21 and her 20 ,both of our parents agreed for our marriag?
I am guessing that you are in India by your description of what is going on. If her parents only agree that you can marry her before you go abroad and this is what you definitely want, and you want their blessing; I would say that you should get married. But consider this, it is very difficult to maintain a long distance relationship, if you will not be gone long it will be easier for both of you. Now as for part of where to get married, can you do a civil ceremony where you are married by a judge so that it doesn't offend either one of you? Or what about coming to some sort of compromise that works for both of you, like having it in a church, but doing some of the marriage rituals that are Hindu?I need a legal advice for my marriage and my age is 21 and her 20 ,both of our parents agreed for our marriag?
Embrace to Hinduism and get married. In India a boy of 21 years and a girl of 18 years can be legally married under Hindu Marriage Act, 1956
Not enough info to give you an answer.
where are you from in the united states both you and her are legal to get married after 18 you can do whatever you want
wait till you get back. dont get married then leave thats just cruel to both of you.
wait till you grow up to marry and can speak better english!
get registered marriage
You can convrt to hindu and marry her
First go to school and learn how to spell 2Nd go see a lawyer. not a web site

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