My husband has a daughter outside marriage. i am jealous. Advice.?

my husband had a one night stand with a woman before we got married and they now have a daughter. he wants to be in his daughters life and hopes for full custody but her mom says no. she wants my husband and is gonna use their daughter to try. i get jealous but i want my hubby to be there for his daughter since i didnt have my dad. he plans to but sometimes i get so jealous and i dont like the mom. any ideas on how to handle because i plan on staying with my husband. we have a son.My husband has a daughter outside marriage. i am jealous. Advice.?
I'm trying to figure out why you should be jealous. Was this affair while you two were seeing each other and therefore you see this other woman as a potential threat to your relationship with your husband or was this affair before your time? In either case you would have been aware of the child's existence before you got married.


Is there something wrong with the childs mother that your husband would want to have full custody of her?


You don't have to like this woman but for the sake of both your children you should show her no animosity or give her any reason to be antagonistic towards you. Treat her child like the precious jewel she is and sit down with your husband and set out rules together for his contact with the child's mother and both of you try to stick to them.My husband has a daughter outside marriage. i am jealous. Advice.?
Dont think of her as your ';husbands daughter outside of marriage';, think of her as family; your step-daughter, your sons sister, and if you find yourself being jealous think about good times you could have with her as your 'daughter'. And as for the baby momma, forget about it...no matter how much she wants him...HE wants you. You won! No need for jealously either way. Hope that helps, good luck
I have the same situation my husband. We were broke up and he got a woman pregnant.. she wasnt sure it was his. Two years later took us to court and found out that it was infact his. I dont like the woman at all. She is never tied down always hooking up and out drinking. my husband wanted to be in his life so this is what i did...he isnt aloud to pick him up on his own i always go with him, he isnt aloud to be alone with her because the two times he was she ran her mouth, if she needs to talk to him about something important she can call him or email him but not show up to see him, and we all discuss matters of the child together. I know it sounds terribly controlling but this woman has cause so many problems thats just how it has to be. And she agrees with our terms.
These subjects are so hard :[ I'm sorry.


But have you thought that now your son has a half sister? They need to meet and interact they are apart of each other's family now. Play it safe, go with him when he picks the daughter up so you know nothing is going on. Let him talk to her when the child is there or when something needs to be discussed. Explain to him your fears and thoughts and let him know that there are times they can talk but if he or she is phoning in at 12am then that's a problem ';if there is no emergancy';. Try to understand ahead of time that this little girl isn't your daughter but ';step'; so you can parent her and help raise her with her daddy but if the mom is the main care giver then you should obide by what she ask of you guys to do and how to raise her. For instance if the mom says she can't have this food, just listen to her so you don't get into it and then put yourself in her position if someone was going behind your rules with your son.








It's just a matter of working to get along. You don't have to like eachother BUT DON'T EVER let the kids see that. If you have negative feelings towards the woman don't let her daughter hear or sence it.
Since you didn't have your dad, you know what it feels like to grow up without a father, would you wish that on your step daughter? Don't let her mom get you down I'm sure he's interest is only in his daughter and not her mom. Why don't you spend sometime with your step daughter, husband and also your, a family bonding thing. I'm sure it will all work out. Good luck
The only thing that helped with a my daughters dad was to act like I was fine with it and sooner or later it became fine with me. Act as if it doesnt bother you at all. Finally I realized one day I didnt care anymore. I know this isnt what you want to hear or think it will work but it worked for me. I always think you can choose how you feel and if you act how you want to feel sooner or later you will feel that way! Good luck!!!
Im going to be brutally honest. Stop being selfish. That little girl deserves her father especially if he wants to be apart of her life. Eventhough the mom may be crazy...trust your husband. Trust that he's there strictly for the child. Dont allow your emotions to fuel a fire that will only end up hurting the children involved. You dont have to like the woman but you do have to show her respect. If you dont have anything good to say dont say anything at all. You have to make it work for the children and bury your jealous behavior, otherwise you may just drive your husband to this woman or someone else. Hope this helps.
Your husband shares custody now?





Why is that not enough? Kids need BOTH parents having them choose based on their own petty issues isn't right.





This woman has her own issues and she is messing up her daughter if she is using her like a pawn. My oldest brother comes from a similiar situation you just described, my dad and her argued so much and used him as a lever without meaning to between the two of them. that he has walked away form both of them and only talks to my mom (you in this situation).





This is who you need to be rather than sinking to this other womens level be there for the child more than anyone else. She didn't ask to be born into this crazy situation and she needs someone to give her a voice.
Stay on your game and keep your eyes open. She will always be on the outside looking in. Stay on defense with her, don't let your guard down with her and you won't go wrong.
man ,girl! I feel for you!! ok, this is how I would handle this: tell the woman,that while the father is your hubby, he also is this child's father,too. You have a delicate situation here.


He will have to be there for both kids. Do u trust him not to mess around with her?


If he gets full custody, are you prepared for the onslaught of negative feelings that are sure to come your way?


Jealous is normal.You want hubby all to herself. I agree. What does SHE want?


What does hubby want?


What do U want?


step-families are a difficult boat to be in.


Ask hubby what he wants to do about your feelings.


Personally, I would be angry at hubby for the one night stand.


He knew the risks when he slept with her.


Try to remain neutral about it and realize your anger is really at your hubby and the woman,and not at the child. Give the child your sympathy,as she did not ask to be in the middle of such a sad situation.