Marriage Issue - A Typical Problem - Can Anyone advice on this?

I am asking this question to understand an answer from a womens point of view. Let me know if am wrong somewhere.





I am married for 12 years now and living with my wife and 3 children and i am living in Dubai. Me and my wife have varied interests and points of view which sometimes lead into a conversation and then into an argument. Therefore our relationship even though is good enough to survive has been hurt badly. But we continue to focus our energies on our responsibilities that is our 3 children.


This conflict and i dont know what to say but this uneasyness has resulted in no SEX for allmost 3 months. Even if we have SEX the next will come after another 6 months. This resulted in myself searching prono webs and reading material and stuff to satisfy but i feel it is not good and it needs to stop. I dont know what to do. Please advice.Marriage Issue - A Typical Problem - Can Anyone advice on this?
You need to talk with your wife. Allowing your differing opinions to get in the way of your relationship and sex life is not reasonable unless of course, these opinions and interests are directly related to your relationship, but you haven't said this.





You need to be rational when talking with your wife and hope the same for her. Keep the emotions out of debates unless these debates are directly related to concerns of the heart and even then tread wisely. Reason over passion never blindly follow your heart unless you are looking for another damaging argument.





As for your sex life, yea that is terrible! You need to discuss this issue with your wife and figure out just why she is refusing sex with you. As for the pornography, it's not abnormal or bad, plenty of men and women look at pornography and masturbate. That's nature, but if your wife is going to get jealous and insecure over it, I'd suggest not telling her until you've gotten to the bottom of the sex refusal.Marriage Issue - A Typical Problem - Can Anyone advice on this?
Men and women need to realize that we think differently about things and we need to respect the other person's point of view and we need to learn how to compromise if we can't agree and it's something that affects the whole family.





How often do you romance your wife and let her know how special she is to you? Do you ever take or send flowers to her? Ever mail her a card to let her know what a treasure she is to you? How often do you tell her you love her, even when you disagree on things? Have you ever gone up behind her at home and just put your arms around her and whispered how much you treasure her? Ever write her a quick note or a poem and leave it where she will find it after you leave for work? Ever tell her to be dressed up and ready on a certain night for a romantic dinner with just the two of you (and you set up the babysitter and make the reservations so all she has to do is be beautiful for you)? Be spontaneous so she'll never know when to expect that something special from you.





When you argue, she feels alienated which continues to put a wedge between you. Get rid of the trash reading material and porn sites ~ that is SO wrong. The only woman you should lust for is your wife so you two need to sit down and lovingly resolve this.





Before my husband and I married, one thing I discussed with him is that we never go to bed mad at each other and he agreed that we wouldn't ~ and we haven't and Lord willing, never will. When my husband has hurt me, it really touches my heart when he comes and apologizes (and making up can be fun :) so go to her and let her know you are very sorry for hurting her and talk.... and if it starts getting heated, shut up and remember it takes two to tango. Never, ever raise your voice ~ that only adds fuel to the fire. Also, never leave the room in a huff as that shows disrespect for her and is childish.





Communication and respect for each other is the key to resolving this but it must be done with love and understanding. You are adults so don't act like children and yell and pout and maybe things will run smoother.





Just my two cents :)
first get rid of the porno, that's not going to help except to drive a bigger wedge between you, second there must have been some magic between you and her when you got married, and while some interest may be different surely you can have some common interest between yourselves, concentrate on rekindling this common ground, thirdly when was the last time you showed any real interest in her other than sex, the real problem in many marriages is taking your partner for granted and everything is about self, marriage is about sacrificing for the other, or should I say love, to receive you must give by taking the lead you maybe able to salvage you marriage, rekindle those flames that made you a couple to start with and lastly communicate from the heart about your need for her, hopefully she hasn't found someone else to adore her, 3 kids can really draw your energy levels way down, hire a baby sitter and take her out more often make her the center of your world or somebody else will.
Differences between wife and husband is very common. You should understand that each other view things differently. If there is a possibility of an argument, try to talk about other things. If there is an argument, one of you should stop arguing, the argument would end easily. I think that even she is not happy with the things that are happening. Why dont you talk to your wife about it. Once the children grow older and they become independent, you and your wife have to live for each other. Try to resolve the differences or either understand where you both differ.
tell her you need to see a marriage councellor.