Advice on child before marriage?

I'm a very mature 21 year old, i'll be 22 this year and my partner of 3 years is 25 in a few months. I've finished full schooling and have just completed a trade and my partner is a tradesman too, we bought our first house 6 months ago and just recently got engaged. Since a very young age i've been strongly maternal and cant wait for the day we hav a baby of our own, we've been talking aboutt our wedding and whether we should wait but we really really both want a baby, and think it would be nice if our baby was included in our wedding? anyone in similar situations or have any advice? at our age and situation do you think we would be shunned upon by others for not waiting? i know its our decision please dont just write that backAdvice on child before marriage?
Hi. You indeed do sound like a mature 21 year old and it seems like you have got it together! If the two of you are completely comfortable with it, I wouldn't be too concerned about what others think, unless of course if your families are very strict and against having children before marriage and if they are..will it be a big issue and cause any heartache as far as your immediate families are concerned? That's really the only other people that I would take into consideration because these people are the ones you have to live with and their opinions should be the only ones that really have an impact on your decision. In today's world, having children before marriage is so very common that most people don't even give it a second thought. With your age and with the fact that you seem to really have your lives together and your apparent level of maturity, I would think it would perfectly fine and acceptable to do this if you wish. I had my oldest son after marriage, and his father was killed in a motorcycle wreck when our son was 4 and one half years old. I didn't re-marry for 12 years but was in a nine year relationship and have a son from this relationship. I am no longer with my youngest son's father and did re-marry a few years after that relationship ended. My oldest son was 16 by this time and he walked me down the isle, my youngest was to walk down the aisle as ring bearer but something came up with his father and unfortunately he wasn't able to attend(that broke my heart), but it was so special to have my son walk me down the aisle even though my father is still living and we have a good relationship, he understood and it was a beautiful ceremony with the exception of the absence of my youngest son. I see no reason why anyone should or would shun you for not waiting. It is your family and your life. Do you think you would feel completely comfortable when your child is older and you are explaining the situation to him/her? It's all about your morals and values and I am not judging you in any way by saying that, I am just saying depending on how you plan to raise your child/children and if you think that this is something that you would give them your blessing on if they were to want to do the same thing years from now when they decide to marry and have children themselves, then I wouldn't see any reason not to do it the way you want. If you ask yourself this question and you think that you might not be completely comfortable seeing your own child do this in the future, then you might want to give it some more thought. So, I guess I am saying that the most important things to take into consideration are your beliefs and the beliefs and values as far as marriage and children are concerned and the way you intend to bestow these on your children in the future..to me, that would probably help me in trying to decide if this is what is right for you. Sometimes I'm not great at putting my thoughts into words..hope you can make sense of what I'm trying to say especially since I just woke up! lol But seriously, I do wish you the very best whatever you decide and personally I think either way is perfectly acceptable as long as it doesn't interfere with your beliefs or your immediate family's. Good luck to you and I know you will be a wonderful mother..it's so good to see someone your age that seems to have their lives so ';together'; at such a young age..sounds like your parents done something right!Advice on child before marriage?
If you have to ask the question, then you are not ready.
if u want a child just make sure u can provide and there is no book that comes along u will b fine
You guys seem like a really nice couple and the fact that both of you really want kids is great. However, I think that it would be best if you waited. I am only 17 and I LOVE babies and CAN';T WAIT to have one of my own. Everytime I see a baby I just want to go over and pick it up and I always love being around them. I mean I have more fun with my brothers 9 year old friends than I do with my own friends. I just really love kids! I would love to have a lot one day but although I wish that day was soon I know I have to wait. And although I really really really want a baby I know that if I got one now I could be ruining my life. That might not be the case for you but just wait until you are married and settled. Things will be a lot easier for both of you guys and your child that way. I know it sucks to wait but it is the right thing to do. Also, I don't know if you and your fiancee have slept together yet but if you haven't then good for you guys! I think it is really great to save yourself for marriage. It makes the first time something really special, or at least I believe it does. Good luck with your decision and congratulations on the engagement =).
If you get married when you are 3 months pregnant, the baby will be there with you at the wedding, only inside you. Wishing you best luck. You both sound like a very nice couple.
You know I am 21 also and I just got engaged on Christmas,%26amp; he's 29,big age difference but anyways,we had planned on getting married this coming year,in Feb or March but turns out last Wed. I just found out i was pregnant,so unexspected but now we have to deal with it and the responsibility,but anyways what im saying is its best if you get married first and then think about having a child, it would be best for you and your mate.
Hi





What people will think depends on the attitudes of the people where you live. BUT please consider your partner's opinions on you getting pregnant - have you discussed it with him? Because you seem very sure of what you want from life and you should check this is what he wants too - you wouldn't want it to end badly because you rushed into things. I am 23 and think 21 is too young - go out and enjoy yourself while you still can
im 22, i have a 6 month old girl and am 11 and a half weeks pregnant. i would love for my children to be included at my wedding...i think it would be beautiful. none of my friends or family are concerned about us not being married so i dont have to worry about anyone judging us in that way. it wouldnt be fair. im the happiest person in the world and i wouldnt have it any other way!
Condsider this also, there are many social and legal benefits to marriage. What if something were to happen (god forbid) during your pregnancy and your boyfriend has no legal say in your treatment. What if things are changed drastically during your pregnancy like your ability to get along and come to basic agreements. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. You will know this when you look into your husbands eyes for the first time and you try to make that baby : )


Good luck to you, it sounds like you are ready for it all!!!
Wait.





It has nothing to do with any moral opinion I hold about having kids for marriage, but a purely practical one. Give yourself a year of marriage before bringing a kid into the picture. That gives you time to get established in your career, settle into your new home and have a year out of school to do what you want to do. You're both young and if you wait one year it won't make you old parents...





But if you're ready do it... it really depends on you. I'm just giving my two cents.
I had a baby before marriage and I dont think it is shunned upon. More and more people are doing it now and it is more rare to get married first. I see marriage as just a piece of paper and I dont think it makes much difference. Go with your heart
I am 18 with a 5 month old i have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 3 years as well, we are not married, its just to much for a nice wedding these days, and i have always wanted a nice wedding, so we have waited, we are saving the money in the bank for a wedding as aposed to credit cards that way unless i want to wait untill im 30 to have a baby then i should have one now, and that ensures a nice wedding and a baby old enough to throw petals or carry a ring down the isle for me, i will probably have another before i get married and it shouldnt be looked down upon, spec since your child has every right to be included in your wedding day, the only downside is a babysitter when you go on your honeymoon ;) if you want your bubby now go for it dont let ONE day spoil it for you...
I'm 23, have 2 kids and am looking at getting married in December this year. I can't wait to have my boys as part of the ceremony, as it's not just me and my fiancee pledging a life together, it includes our kids too.





There is always a traditionalist around that will look down on you for having children before marriage, but I honestly haven't had many problems with others.