Marriage problem whats your advice?

me and my husband has been married for 7 years. i got married at 16 and him 18 now we have three girls 6, 3 and 9 months old. throughtout these years he's broken my heart once, and hes addicted to his pc and playstations, and hes not working right now. he still acts like a little kid. to me i feel that there is really no more spark left. i've told him many times how i would like to be treated, just some flowers or surprise but never once, all these years he's never given me a gift i really appreciate, not even on my birthday or anniversaires, he doesnt do those things. our sex life is not the best either. i just dont know what to do anymore, i'm so confused, i dont wanna do something to hurt him either like cheating but at times i just wanna know what it would feel like being with someone else, but i've got my kids.Marriage problem whats your advice?
Well the first thing that has to happen is he has to step up and be a man and by that i mean get a job and stop with the video games. He needs to stop acting like a 12 year old boy and start acting like a father to those children. Spark is gone because you are more of a mother than a wife. Hubby needs to grow up he is not a man he is a boyMarriage problem whats your advice?
My husband %26amp; I just celebrated our 7 year anniversary this year, %26amp; while we arent in the same situation as you (no kids, married @ 25), what you are going through is normal.


What you need to do is find a way to reconnect with your husband, so that you %26amp; he are listening to each other and responding to each others needs.


It may make perfect sense to you that he needs to stop playing on the computer %26amp; start working, but to him, it may be a way for him to escape the feelings he might be having about not supporting his family right now. Sometimes getting our spouses to listen has more to do with how %26amp; when we say something, instead of what is being said %26amp; how important it is.


Do you go to church, or have another couple that you can turn to as mentors? (someone who will commit to helping you stay together, not commiserate about how lousy the other person is being). A minister is a great place to go for support, %26amp; they will work with you to help redevelop communication.


On your own, or together with your husband if he would be willing, read through some books. I personally recommend ';His Needs, Her Needs'; %26amp; ';Five Languages of Love';, both are designed to help partners work through their differences and love each other inspite of them.


Best of luck to you.
Your have four kids.





He takes you for granted and I don't know how you can change that unless you leave, or kick him out...seperate for a while and hopefully he'll realize what a good wife he has.
He in his mid 20's with a wife and 3 children. Tell him that you need an adult for a husband. Give him a firm time limit to shape up, get a job, and start being a better husband. Be prepared to leave him if he fails to meet your demands. Tell him you will no longer raise him as the 4th child!
well, don't wait 20 yrs. then decide, he sounds like he is a very selfish person. I can relate. It isn't pretty and doesn't get any better. the more you do for him the more he won't change. it's your decision.
Hi! I would try sitting down and talking to him again! Tell him how fed up you are with how is treating you. Tell him that he needs to striaghten up. I would go on a vacation for a week and when you come back see how he acts when you come back. Then maybe you two can talk. He doesn't have a job? That might be the problem there, he might feel depressed and worthless. Tell him to do soemthing to even just take the kids out, get out of the house that might help him. Then maybe he'll feel better about himself and then he can treat you better. Hide his pc and playstation tell him he can't have them until he gets a job and starts helping you more. Put your foot down don't let him treat you like that!
Two overgrown kids trying to raise 3 little kids. What do you expect?
Sorry flower...this IS the marriage curse.





And people tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about.





I'll never ever recommend marriage to anyone I know for the rest of my life.
You need to get into some couples counseling. Don't cheat on him, it's never the right thing to do and you'll be racked with unnecessary guilt the rest of your life with him.





You're just a little depressed , counseling does help, if he doesn't want to go then go by yourself, it's better than living this way.





You did get married young and the pressures of marriage only get harder. He needs to get off his PlayStation and spend more time with you, have you ever talked to him about it?





You know PlayStation's break all the time ....





seriously though, you two just need some counseling so you can learn how to deal with all of this together, it won't last if you don't get help.
Yes, with kids, you have to think of them. Personally, if my parents broke up, my own life would be shattered. I rather that you be the catalyst in your relationship. I suggest you not wait for your husband to pick up the sex/sparks..since he's obviously clueless. It's in your power, girl! Make it your goal to try surprising him! Give him a suprise hug when he's on the pc. Get yourself a new makeover (hairdo...lingerie even) when your kids aren't home (like at their grandmother's or friend's house or something) Put random love notes on your husband's computer screen. Have your girls help you make a project like a cake or painting just for daddy. Maybe your husband will see that you girls really appreciate him, even though he's jobless, and a light bulb will ring in his head and he will return the loving and the fun. And don't expect things from him (like the perfect birthday gift....trust me, most men are clueless to those things). Instead, make it your goal to surprise him with the littlest things.....like random hugs or kisses on the cheeks. Or all of the sudden waking up, giving him a juicy kiss and say ';Rise and shine my Sexy beast.'; Doesn't have to be elaborate. Make yourself feel sexy for yourself and everyone will notice a difference, including your husband. Learn to flirt again. there are books out there about flirting I'm sure. Or new sex moves for the bedroom. Try new things with your husband. Decorate your bedroom to be more romantic. ....many many ways to change yourself and your surroundings to make you get the spark back, without having to divorce or get involved with another man.
Try to fix it!!!!!!! DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT DIVORCE................................ GO TO COUNCILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!鈥?Talk it out trust me.....








Sincerly,


Concernd writer
Sounds like the ';seven year itch'; to me. He never got the chance to sow his oats and it sounds like he's never grown up. It's too bad that so many years have gone by and that there are children involved, but.....there is so......Don't try the ultimatum thingy, it never works and he would only resent you and the kids too. I would talk to a marriage counselor and if your husband doesn't want to go, you and the kids go without him. I don't see a lot of changes going on with him. You will have to make the move and whatever it is, don't look back.
You're about 23, you got three kids. You have time to fix things. As long as you don't pop out another one and yeah...maybe you shouldn't gotten married that early. But you in there now. So tell his *** off or something or move on with your kids.
it sounds like both of yall are unhappy.your tired of him and he cant be to happy with himself not working and all.yall married so young and have 3 kids maybe yall need some time apart to see what happens then.good luck!
It seem to me that he is not appreciating you as a wife anymore. Maybe the reason is that yall got married too soon. That was a very young age to get married at and now he feeling like he really didnt get to live his life as being young and not settled down.so he is making up for time lost. if he knows that this is how you feel and he still hasn't changed the way he is treating you, i would seperate from him for a while. you need some space. he is not working so that means you are handling everything, there is no attention been giving to you(attention expresses love), he plays games all the time like a kid instead of taking care of his family like a man. Sweety he do not want any responsibility anymore. he is feeling tied down and no he is not happy. put the shoe on the other foot and make the truth come out. find you a baby sitter and just go out for a minute with friend girls sometime. show him that this is not getting you down. you need to be appreciated for baring his kids. it seems like you really love him, but he is a man. this is what men do when they are looking at things differently than what they did in the past. if you just let go for a while, you will see the truth of every question you have in your mind. if he really wants a family and is willing to change, he will come to you and ask for your forgiveness, but if he doesn't then he wanted to be free, so let the bird fly. God will always make a way for you and your family. If you keep looking back from what you left in the past, you will always miss whats in your future!!!!!!
this is why kids should never get married. and there are other ways to be affectionate than flowers, geez that's a bit selfish, even him scraping the ice off your windows in winter is the same thing, and when was the last time you did something nice for him, remember that marriage is 2 people not just one. you have to do something for him too.but you got married to young. you should have waited until you both matured.sorry.
You know what, I have been married for 37 yrs and have NEVER gotten flowers. Maybe a card for my birthday. You two were very young and have made it longer then when some adults got married. There has to be a great commitment there or it wouldn't have lasted this long. Unfortunately some men take longer to grow up then others. My husband is 58 and just bought a motorcycle. Go figure. Sex is important in a marriage but it is not the most important thing. You sound like you are depressed. If you don't work, go get a job. My husband was never the bread winner in the family, I was. He stayed at home with the kids. Now that I have retired, he takes care of me. It all works out in the end. Hang in there kiddo, SOMEDAY, he will grow up and you will reap the benefits.
You need some martial counseling. Ask your husband if he is willing to go with you to seek the help you need to keep your marriage together. Its possible that your husband was never taught how to treat a wife and things that women like. You are always responsible for your own actions.Adultery is not the answer under any circumstances. Try counseling and talking with your husband. Maybe you could also tell your husband some things that you like.