Any advice for this strange marriage problem?

After 8 months of marriage and a total of two years of being together, I started to notice that my husband is not very intelligent and may have a learning dsability although in school it was never picked up on. He has his strengths, a decent job, and is a really nice guy and wonderful person. He is very calm and patient with me and every time his ignorance surfaces I lose my mind and start crying, even yelling at him and making him feel bad. He always stays calm and forgives me.





I just spent $275 on concert tickets for his b-day (its a surprise) and his friends are driving 5 hours to join us for the concert (they also spent $275 for tickets). This is all happening 3 weeks.





We have fights everyday when he has one of his ';crazy, rediculous, stupid'; moments. He's never mad at me but I'm constantly disappointed with him. I work with kids with learning disabilities and accept and love all of them but I just can't accept this about him. I don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to leave him. We've gone to marriage counseling and I've gone to individual counseling. Noting has helped. Does anyone have some advice that can help me?Any advice for this strange marriage problem?
I'm trying to figure out how it took you this long to figure out this about him. I would encourage you to stick it out a little bit longer. Divorce will always be a possibility in the future. You were together over a year before you got married, so it's not like you rushed into things and then got surprised by this. Try to find what you loved about him in the first place. Is it possible that you are depressed or have some anxiety? Maybe you're projecting things on him. By the way, what does the middle paragraph have to do with the other two?





update:


I looked back on your other posts and you've posted similar questions over the course of the last month. You've gotten lots of advice, what exactly are you looking for? Is the answer going to be more clear the more times you hear it? I'm not sure what your motives are here. I'm starting to think that perhaps it is time to end your marriage. It doesn't really sound like you really want to make this marriage work and you may be treating him unfairly. Take care of yourself.Any advice for this strange marriage problem?
The marriage will not work unless you respect each other, and you don't sound like you respect him at all. Shame too, he sounds like a great guy, calm, working, wonderful person. Dump him so someone who truly appreciates him can have him.





What's the deal about the concert? Don't want to lose the money if you leave him? Wow.
turn to Jesus. pray and go to church together. The family that prays together stays together.
ya get out of it... 2 years total is not enough time to get married .... im sure you all can get a refund on the tickets....
my advice is leave him. Why would u be with someone u dont enjoy being around
You are not going to like my answer, but I don't like the way people look at disabilities and mental illness in the world today. Maybe its because of my past experience with it. I was a normal 14 year old teenage girl that was going thru the normal teenage things..such as detaching from parents, liking boys, not wanting to listen to adults like a kid anymore, etc. My parents quickly diagnosed me with ';oppositional defiance disorder.'; They were shoving syringes of liquid prozac down my throat in no time. You have no idea how hurtful this was, and the medication literally made me blank out ages 14 to 17. I can't think of ANY memories during that time that were pleasant, I just remember a lot of confrontation and seeing them as demons or something. I don't know how I talk to them to this day, I am 27 now but still when I think of it, I just want to scream at them and ask them how they could do it to me. The feeling you are having about your husband may or may not have some validity, but diagnosing him with a learning disability is not the right thing to do. He is who he is, and you knew that when you married him. Now you work with disabled kids and think you know something. Its really sad that you feel the need to pin a label on him with the disorder. Love him for who he is and stop looking at him like theres something wrong with him. The way I see it, everyone I have met suffers from one ';disorder'; or another because this society we live in today feels the need to have perfection, well people are who they are, doesn't mean its a disorder.
OK. Let me put some things in perspective for you.


1) You're crazy!


2) He knows you're crazy.


3) You know exactly what's wrong with your relationship.





I went to your profile and read all of your questions. Of 38 questions all but 4 or 5 of them are similar to this. All you seem to do is complain about him. That's probably the reason he's so calm and doesn't let anything you do get a rise out of him. His brain is numb from hearing you for so long and he is now deaf!





I can only imagine what the two of you argue about. One of your questions was something about unicorns being real. Are you serious? You are aware that they are fictional creatures, right? You probably told him they were real.





You get mad at him because he doesn't want to play Guitar Hero? Really? He doesn't want to play a freaking video game, and it makes you mad? Well maybe that's one of the questions you should have asked him when you were chatting on the internet.





I have so much more I could say to you but I'll leave it at this:


1) Stay in therapy for you. That's why his Dr told him he didn't need the meds. He doesn't! You might need a few though.





2) You keep asking should you leave him. Yes. Leave him and allow him the chance to find somebody who will appreciate the nice guy you say he is, but only complain about.





3) You didn't notice the stupid things about him because you were probably so desperate for a man you took the first one that came along. You didn't want to see them. All the newlywed phase means is- there's not much talking going on to know he's an idiot, because we spend so much time in bed.





Grow up and let the man go. You don't deserve him.