Need marriage advice from experienced people..?

I've been married 8yrs, we got married because our lawyer told us to (I was a single mom and my son's dad was a basket case %26amp; the only way for me to move out of the state was if I was married) anyway, we have 2 kids, 10 %26amp; 4. and for the last 6 years I feel like I'm ';settling'; for him, we have nothing in common anymore, and I'm not physically attracted to him at all. I care about him but I feel like I need more out of a relationship, but I'm worried about the kids and change is scary. What do I do? He hasn't allowed me to work for 2 years so I don't have a ';nest egg'; saved up..I'm just 'stuck'Need marriage advice from experienced people..?
Moste woman mistake a bad marriage for no accomplishments in their own personal life. If you make a list of all the things you want to do in your life and do it..including working..you will love yourself more...You love yourself..you'll love your husband, your marriage and your family more.Need marriage advice from experienced people..?
Firstly, you do not need his permission to go and find work. For him not to ';allow'; you is a cop out, you do have a choice, a say in it too. So if you want a job, go and get one.


Secondly there couldn't have been a worse reason to get married (except perhaps being pregnant), than that you wanted to move out of state, and couldn't without marrying. I don't know what lawyer advised that, it seems ridiculous. I am assuming he was moving, and you wanted to go with him.


Now you feel like you have ';settled';, and would have rather waited, waited for what? Until you found the ';Love of your Life';? Or the white knight on his noble steed? But you did choose to marry, and marriage is both hard work and a commitment. You have no real reason to leave, other than YOU now find the whole thing boring - there's no abuse, just a lack of spark.


So its up to you, before thinking of moving those children yet again, to start everything all over, to at least try and make this work. Get counseling, if you think that could help.
It sounds like you are in a controlling relationship with the dad here. My advice is to divorce and btw you should never have gotten married to such a man anyway. You did settle for him, and now your going to have to figure out what you want to do. I suggest you start by taking back some of your rights, and at the least get you a part time job. Start saving a little money and develop a plan for getting out of this marriage.
Its time to wake up and smell the coffee. Get a job immediately and put the children first above all others. Then get your life in order Lady. Lets end all this excitement and move in an upward direction which will result in becoming unstuck.
Get unstuck,hasn't allowed you to work.Is america,get a job and get out of this so called marriage.
get a side lover!
As hard as it is to believe now...You are only stuck if you choose to be. Call your local shelter and figure out a plan for you, sset it in motion. Don't for one minute think that you are trapped. Thats what he wants you to believe.
I was in the same situation!!! I had to save little by little until I had enough to take a road trip to my parents house. I felt awful because I was grown having to go back to my parents but it was the best decision I have made. I started over in a new state and I feel good. As far as the kids go, they are tougher than you think. Mine did better than I thought they would and they are supportive even though they are only 6 and 10. They see that I am happy now and that makes them happy. Don't ever feel like you are stuck. You can do it!!!!! Good luck!!!
Go to your family or friends for help until you can start up a new life. Being unhappy is not a way to live. Just make sure you don't move far away, it's not fair to the kids if they're far away from their dad. Even better yet, get a job anyways, even if he doesn't want you too. Save up enough money for a couple months and then get the hell out.