Marriage Falling Apart. Advice needed urgently!?

Married for 4 years, have one year old twins. Marriage is falling apart due to following problems in my wife:


Arrogance and Ego, Aggression and Anger, No respect of younger or elder, Lack of decision making power and changing decisions frequently, Non-adjusting and Non-compromising and Suicidal tendencies.


Is it a good idea to email her all these problems in detail citing examples, and ask her to work on them with a counselor or doctor with my full support if she agrees to work on them? But otherwise, mention to call for a divorce.





Please let me know if this is good idea or not or if you can think of any alternative ideas. Thanks much for you help in advance. Please do not make a joke of it and reply sincerely and seriously.Marriage Falling Apart. Advice needed urgently!?
If you have been together for 4 years then you must have had something good in the beginning that helped you fall in love in the first place. Try to keep in mind that love does not keep account of injury. If you want to work things out you might want to try reminding her of why you love her and asking her to do the same for you instead of telling her ';im angry because you did this or that'; let her know what she is doing right and then discuss what you can do together to fix whats wrong. I hope everything works out for youMarriage Falling Apart. Advice needed urgently!?
So the mother of your children has suicidal tendencies and you want to a write her an e-mail and tell her everything that's wrong with her? You know whats funny- not once do you mention anything you love about her- anything that makes you want to work it out and stay married. Seems you are too focused on the negative- which from your wife's point of view is probably a terrible way to live.
If you honestly think sending an email like that is constructive, then I don't think it would matter what you suggested, she's going to divorce you anyway. And a marriage doesn't fall apart due to just one person having issues-I'll bet she could give you a list and examples too. If you are actually interested in staying married, then go to a counselor TOGETHER and work on BOTH your issues, not just the ones you think she has. If you aren't willing to acknowledge your role in your marital problems, then get a divorce.
Your wife is passive-aggressive, this is very common in the women of today. She needs counseling and likely marriage counseling with you as well, this is the only way the problem will possible be corrected.


To ease your pain, I would advise having a girlfriend on the side as well, with the full understanding that you are married, don't lie! I know that sounds pretty hypocritical advice but I'm telling you man, it works, I've been where you are. You're a man you're not God!
When the women think her partner don't love her anymore or other women is invalid or Cheating . the become like this ! it is ok to email her the problem and more importing you have to prove her ,That you still love her and you can't love any one ales ,and you love your family you want to SUPPORT her at any time when she need that .


Good Luke
Wow, that is a TERRIBLE idea! You both need to go to marriage counseling TOGETHER, because I can guarantee that she has a list of faults in you that is equally long, if not longer. You mentioned a lack of respect, which makes me wonder how much older than your wife are you? I'm just curious. Anyways, my advice is marriage counseling before ultimatum. Good luck to you.
A separation under marriage counseling will be the most appropriate thing to do in your case. You have mentioned very serious issues with this woman which gives me the impression she does not have a good heart. Do not try to change things by staying under the same roof, she will feel very comfortable.





It will take a miracle to change all these negative traits, but, miracles do happen. If not, then you are better off divorcing and finding yourself a good woman with some humulity and decency in her.
Well, my first impression is that you're analysis is a bit cold and clinical. I understand that there's a place for that but I wonder if you're realizing that she's an emotional being and not just a pile of logic and rational thought.





I may be totally wrong but you may want to try some daiquiri mix, rum and ice in the blender, for both of you to chill out a bit and see how it goes from there.
Which of those problems did you contribute too? Good grief, she probably don't want to be married to you if that is how you really feel about her. I don't think you should email her, I think you should pretend to be an adult and try talking, it works wonders.
i'm sorry,i don't have any advice to give,i'm only fifteen!


But i just wanted to say i looove how you care enough to post a question to reach out to your marriage











i can tell you really care for this person%26lt;3


best wishes
It sounds as if she need serious counseling. I'm sure you tried a night out with her, and had a long talk. Above all else, be supportive and let her know that you're there for her. Good luck to both of you.
I hate it when my spouse sends those types of emails or texts. Be a man and say it to her. Take responsibility for your role in the relationship. Maybe you are cold and distant? I don't know. However, you do need to go to counseling.
So, all negative things point to her. I would like to know what she thinks about you.





Obviously professional help is needed for the sake of the children and the marriage.





Email her and see what transpires.
Marriage is a two-way street. Perhaps counseling is the answer. But, before that, you need to both sit down and talk. Emailing is the chicken way out. Makes me wonder how great you are in this marriage.
Dude, seriously, an email? Not a good idea. If she is all the things you say she is, she is liable to go off on you. Be a man and tell her face to face.
Not to sound sh*tty or cold it sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder. The only cure for BPD IS suicide...





Yeah, yeah...give me a thumbs down if you want but if you do that only means you've never met one of these monsters or are one yourself.





Let me guess, she victimizes herself and demonizes others?





If your answer is yes, she's probably BPD. Don't walk...RUN from this harpy. She will only make you and everyone around you miserable because that's what BPD's do best. They suck the life out of everyone unfortunate to come across one.





Get a good divorce lawyer and make sure you set strict guidelines for custody or visitation. You could get her baker Acted first so it will go in your favor when you file. Remember, the first one who files usually gets their way...
I wouldn't do it in writing, tends to show you are removed and wanting to avoid contact. If you have family or friends that could watch your twins for a few hours, take her out on a date - go to one of your old hangouts or a quiet dinner and don't talk about it. After dinner drive to a quiet area, a park, beach, wherever you won't be bothered and then tell her you love her and concerned and need to talk to her. Try not to argue and just tell her your concerns and how you want to make things better and would she be willing to go to counseling with you or on her own if she prefers for you, her and the kids. Hopefully she will talk with someone and appreciate your patience. Good luck.
Ok, I'm gonna focus on just one of these things: Suicidal tendencies.





That is serious business. If she feels suicidal, she needs to be getting treatment, and probably be on antidepressants. A lot of people feel like there's a stigma around mental health issues... but I think that you are well within your rights to tell her she must get treatment, or you will take the kids away from her. If she is suicidal, the children are in danger being with her, even more so if she's aggressive towards them and/or acts impulsively with them.





It is NOT a good idea to email this to her. Talk to her in person. Hopefully you can show her that you want this so that she can be happier, and that you still love her.
No I don't think e-mailing her is what needs to happen here. I think you need to sit your wife down and tell her how you feel. I'm sure there is more to this story then what is being said because there are always two sides to every story, however it doesn't change the fact that your marriage is in trouble. You need to express to your wife the importance in getting help to make your marriage last but that doesn't mean just her, that means the both of you together as a couple. She sounds as if she has alot of pent up anger inside her, so you need to question where that came from and why. The only way you guys can figure it out is honesty and communication.





Add on





Wow Chick A Deedle that was pretty harsh and no it's not because I am one but I do work with people who are and suicide is not the only answer for people with Personality Disorders. That was just down right cruel and heartless. Maybe you need to do some serious research on the problem so that you are informed. Suicide is never the answer no matter what type of problem they have. Everyone life has more value to it then that.
Married for 4 years and you are just now finding out she has all of these issues? I'm sure she had them before but you wanted to marry her anyway. The advice I have is that you work on yourself before you ask other people to change. I used to blame everything on my husband and his temper and ego. Then I worked on my own. Now when he starts to rare up and push my buttons I don't allow them to be pushed. I can control myself and accept situations as they are. I still have my moments when I blow up but they are a lot fewer than before. I take responsibility for my choices. I chose to marry him and I will work on it with him.





If you back her into a corner or send her an email you will only make her more angry. You have to find a way for her to be in control. If it is her idea she will be more willing. Some people just don't want to be told what to do.