Marriage Problem-need advice?

My husband is a good provider, good dad, doesn't cheat, fixes our house to make it nice, the only problem is that he is mean and selfish. He can be very mean, and selfish, for example when we didn't have enough money for me to have my own car, he spent $1200.00 on a sound system for his car, when I didn't even have a vehicle. This is just one of many many examples and is not even near the worst thing. People tell me that it could be worse and that there is no perfect marriages. What do you think?Marriage Problem-need advice?
I think he is selfish, but is it just with money. I have certainly seen worse, but if my wife needed a car I would not spend the money on a sound system. You also seem to contradict yourself, you say he is a good provider and a good dad but them that he is mean and selfish. Take an honest inventory of your relationship.Marriage Problem-need advice?
I agree that there are no perfect marriages. However, I think that he should have bought you a used car with the 1200 just so that you can get by instead of buying a unnecessary stereo for his car. In reality, I would expect my husband to drive the beat up car and give me the newer car. My husband is not perfect either but he is very generous and what's his is mine.





I suggest that to ameliorate you situation you should get a job and make your own money. This man will provide for your children but he will control you with his money and you can't accept that. Does it work if you make your own money and are very generous with it? Will it kill him with kindness?
Yes, he is selfish. And young and foolish. S stereo is nice, but not a necessity. In a marriage, that decision should have been made by both of you.





And he is also somewhat controlling you by not helping to get you a car, to find work or to go places. You need to talk openly and honestly and let him know how you feel now or things could get worse as the years go on.
this happened years ago and you are still stewing about it....let it go..





what he has done in the last 6 months...has he changed at all..





i bet he has..





we as women tend to hold on to all the ';crap'; that was done to us years ago..but as soon as the relationship is over we forget all about it and think of all the great stuff and how wonderful he was/is...





there will always be problems and hurts and if you ask him i am sure there is a lot that was done to him by you he could complain about..





let the past go ya can't change it..he sounds like a good catch and remember you know what you have and a lot of times it is waaaaaaaaaay better than what you could end up with...





we are all selfish in one way or another....let it go


good luck
Well, that's true. Nobody's perfect. Don't think that he is selfish, maybe after he is done setting up his car, he'll buy you a new one. who knows?
That sound system money could have got you a used car. As you seem ok with everything but this talk to him tell him if he can't give you money then you will find a part time job.
You're a baby.
how can he be a good provider if he didn't provide you with a car, sounds like he's selfish.
it could be worse and there is no perfect marriages. There,you made me say it!
I have the same issue. My husband is very hard to get along with because he wants things his way or no way. We fight constantly now because I put my foot down and fight for what I want as well. Slowly but surely we are learning to compromise. Since he put a sound system in his car, you tell him that you need to share the car, and when he is home from work you get to use the car at your own convenience. A marriage is 50/50 if you don't have yours you use his. Make up a schedule where you will need to use the car after his work hours. Or if possible take him to work,and pick him up. Therefore you have a car during the day. Try and sit down with him and think of solutions and compromise. I find that ever since I became a stay at home mom my husband has had the attitude of I pay the bills, I am the man, and what I say goes. The reason we fight is because he is basically treating me like a doormat. I mean how do you feel? I noticed that you listed your husband as being a good man in every other topic but as a good husband or how he is suppose to treat you. It's definitely a good thing that he doesn't cheat but he should still treat you great. My mother in law told me you have to pick and choose your battles. Right now your battle seems larger than the car stereo it seems like you need to get your husband to realize that you are important too, and that he needs to start thinking of you as much as he thinks of himself. I'm not trying to tell you to start a fight but if he is as mean as you state there will probably be fighting. I agree that there are no perfect marriages, but in a marriage your husband and you should be a team not one Superior to another. I hope I helped you in some way for the better. Good luck.

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