Help i need advice with marriage problems.?

my husband and i are going through alot of problems again.which we both have been through alot together over the past 20 years together. we started dating at a very early age and now we are in our early 30's.trying to find a way to manage out our problems without losing one another.


i'm always giving him a hard time over his out of town job. he tours with phil vassar. he's a lightning designer. well he lost this job twice and now he got it back. when he comes home i will get into a fight with him over it. now he's to the point to where he's done dealing with it.i'm upset because we never spend anytime together. when he's home he'll run with his friends rather then see i'm need his time as well so i'm tired of it as well. he tells me i need to work on alot of things between our marriage. he says that just because we dont talk a whole lot and that we are not like we used to be doesn't mean he doesn't love me anymore. he says that he's done with me hurting him and that he will continue to stay married to me until he decides on if he wants to continue to stay married to me. i dont know if he's testing me to see if i'll change my ways about his job or if he wants to leave me. he says he's not leaving because this is his home as well. it's so hard to live with a man you love sooo much and not really communicate. please help.Help i need advice with marriage problems.?
I can very well understand what you must be going through as i have been through same when i got married and it was only 2 months to our marriage and my husband got a new project in his off.He remains too busy that he could not find out any time to communicate with me.I used to spend my all time with his family members and and in night waiting for him till 11-12 so that at least we could have dinner together....but it continues till 6 months of our marriage.I used to fight with him saying that ';you do not have time for me....etc etc....';


He was always like '; I am not going to club to enjoy... i am in office doing lots of work and going through lot of stress...I need some peace of mind at least at home';


Then i realized that how stupid i was... i was thinking only about me and me and me... i was so selfish that i was not able to see how his condition was...................





What i will suggest you to see from his point of view...why he is doing all this? To save his Job so that you both can live happy together without any financial problems in your family....





I think it is time for you to help him.... He needs you more than you need him ... cooperate him. If he cannot give his time to you then you can call him and talk to him over the phone ... ask him how he is doing his Job.. is he OK... has he taken lunch/dinner?.Ask him to call him whenever he gets 5-10 minutes free....Be in touch with each other and most important TRUST him........





I hope you got my point...


All the best....


Help i need advice with marriage problems.?
why are you on his case about his job? i dont get it. communication is key if hes out of town a lot. But you cant call him up and ***** at him time and time again and expect him to want to call you. I dont think hes testing, sounds pretty real to me.
it is not any serious problems in your married life.


he kissed you today shows his love towards you.


it is his time to work and grow for himself and you.


best is to plan kids...he shall spend a lot of time at home than with friends.



Go see the movie Fireproof together. It's a great movie for struggling couples. After talk to him about going to counseling.
You two stuil need counseling together. too many issues can make this implode and it must be solved rapidly.
lay off atleast he is working could be alot worseand maybe you might have answered you own ????
Your husband tries to show you how much he loves you by having a good paying job to put a roof over your head and does his best to provide for you. That's how men show love.Yet by you criticizing his job it makes him feel unappreciated.He's doing the best that he can and in his mind he feels like his best is not good enough or you wouldn't keep putting it down.He works hard while he's away, then comes home to hear you complaining and he needs an escape from it, so he goes out.Maybe he's giving you the benefit of a doubt for you to change your ways before it's too late and not only you lose everything but him all together.I think you need to get a more active life to fill the loneliness and make yourself happy, no one can else can or will make you happy.I would also recommend marital counseling before it's too late and make a date night every week that he's there.Also , give him an hour when he comes home to unwind of silence, then talk for an hour about his trip, heart to heart talks, etc.If you want to really make it work it's going to take a lot of work and effort and marriage counseling if need be, good luck
This sounds just like my marriage of 11 years. It sucked. My ex would go offshore to work. That, I was fine with. What I was not fine with was when he did come home, he would leave and spend most all of his time running the roads with his friends and family. Ignoring his own family at home. He really did not want the responsibility of a family, house, ranch, repairs, school function, etc. He really wanted a drinking hanging out buddy and that is the skank he is married to now.





I got tired of telling him we needed more time together and he blamed the job. It took forever to convince him it was not the job. It was how he treated me when he was home from those jobs. He didn't get it until after the divorce.





Men are clueless and sometimes, they just don't get it until it is too late. Grab him by the wavoos and take him to a marriage counselor before it is too late. You do need to get off his back about the job and more on the time he has at home.





Print up this story for him to read, maybe this will get through to him. I hope so.
Well chickie boom boom. Get the book ';The Five Love Languages'; read it. Absorb it. Highlight passages. Think long and hard. You yourself pointed out what you are doing to antagonize. Learn about what you want to feel loved and then see if you can identify what he wants. Sounds like he is trying. Say thanks. Kiss him, pat his tush. Tell him you can't wait till he gets home and you will have a surprise for him. Address his love language, is it gifts, words, touch, quality time, service. You go girl. Love is a choice. You have a treasure worth keeping and he does too.
Tell him you'll do anything to keep your love alive. Go get some counciling, and then at some point bring him into it too. Tell him you are doing this and its part of your commitment to change yourself. It sounds like you realize you have a problem with nagging him, so its good that you are being introspective, because usually the problems we complain about really problems we have with ourselves.





You need to ask him if he would like it if you were together on the road, and if he says yes, then you should quit your job and be on the road with him. A compromise might be for you to meet him on the road for a couple days here and there. This gives you more time to share. He can share with you the experience of his daily job, and that will make him feel closer with you. It also will show him that he is important enough to you that you will make the effort to go where he is, and that will make him feel good.





Sounds like your situation is totally workable. I think that is so cool and sweet that you can be with your childhood sweetheart after all these years. I'm sure, even if he has messed around on you on the road, that he feels a deep connection with you too.