I need serious advice on my marriage.?

I have been married to my husband 5years and together for 10. I just turned 30 yrs. old and he is 37. My family is in WIS. and his is in FL. We live in FL because he has a good job and I am currently a full-time student. I just started school. He is not a family guy and never see's his family. We are here only for his job. His only strive in life is money. I am very family-oriented. I met him when I was twenty and he has made all my decisions for me. I lack self confidence. He doesn't like me to have friends, work with guys or to ever go out. So he has been all I have known for 10years. I get a bad feeling when I think of having children with him. He acts like a father in our relationship. I want to move home so bad, but everytime I go home, I have this bad feeling, because I am so used to being told what to do and I come back to him. I am 30 and lost. I am scared to start over. I am homesick and I have nobody or nothing down here. Serious replies only. Thank-youI need serious advice on my marriage.?
As a full-time student, you should be eligible for counseling services through your school. I would strongly recommend that you take advantage of them to help build up the self-confidence to eventually break free from this controlling relationship (and make no mistake, it is controlling; he's isolated you from every possible source of support other than him). There are also hotlines you can call that can give you advice and help point you to other resources. If you don't feel you can do it where he might find out, try to muster enough resolve to get yourself home for a ';visit'; and start pursuing help from there.





Remember: it's never too late to start over, especially when your well-being is on the line. Good luck.I need serious advice on my marriage.?
Seriously, you should get counseling. I would suggest you make something up and go home for a while. Get some counseling there and talk to your family. I know it is scary to make your own decisions after so long, but if you don't do something about it you never will. Even if you have kids one day, you will always be at the bottom of the totem pole. You make think that you will never find someone to love you if you leave him. But, honey, you will. But before that you have to love yourself first. Seriously, your husband is not going to change, in fact he will get worse because he is feeding off of your insecurities. He may in fact love you, but he has some issues of his own that he needs to deal with. Good Luck!!!!
This alienation thing sounds like narcissistic personality disorder. Read about it. All of the things you are describing are classic signs of abuse.
Sorry things are the way they are.....I was in that type of relationship about 10 yrs ago...except I did have kids. He was not and still is not a good father. I did leave and did get a divorce and it was the BEST!! thing I ever done. Family is very important and you having friends is also important. Life is just to short not to be happy. I don't blame you for wanting to have kids w/ someone who you know will be a good father..The self confidence will come..but it might take some time. Be true to yourself...please make yourself happy, you sound so sad. Best of luck to you!
Get some professonal help, it will enable you to get your self confidence back and be able to do what is best for your well being. Good luck....
starting over can be scary. But if you're unhappy, you need to change that. Nobody can change that except for you. No person/marriage can make you happy until you're happy with yourself. Your husband should NOT be making all decisions for you. and he definitely should not interfere with you having friends. A good partner brings out the good in you, they don't bring you down. Sounds to me like that's what he's doing. I'd move home if I were you. if he really loves you, he'll go too.
This is actually relationship abuse, honey. Not physical, but mental abuse. He is not being fair to you, and is ENTIRELY too controlling.


You're thirty. You should have friends, be able to make your own decisions, without having to worry about what he thinks. Also, if the thought of having his kids makes you uncomfortable, that is a MAJOR warning sign.


My best advice here would be to, first thing, MOVE BACK HOME. Be close to your family. If you're a family-oriented person, I assume there's a reason for that - they must be fairly supportive, and I'm sure they'll understand.


Next, get a counselor. A professional will be able to help you a LOT in terms of learning to make your own decisions and bringing you out of your shell - and starting over. I can understand being homesick. But this guy is not good for you. Move home (with a relative if you can, or an apartment near them), start talking to a counselor who will help you, and get a divorce.


Best of luck, hun. YOU CAN DO IT.
So you are married to a control freak! Leave him...the sooner the better. It will only get worst...The last thing you want with this man is children.
Sweetie that is classic signs of physiological abuse. You need to start standing up for yourself as hard as that is going to be. This started when you were very young and has been going on for a long time so it will hard to do. You might try going to talk in support groups so you can gain your self confidence again. Good luck
I would leave him he is controlling you make some new friends when you move back home and maybe go to counseling for abuse
First of all you and your husband move to fl because he had a good job your a student right, he doesnt take time out to see his family but your close to your family and missing them you should have thought about this from the beganning, Dont have any children because it seems like your not ready to and the marriage is one sided. Your home sick and afraid of starting over again its up to you to decide what to do. Put your best foot forward and stop being afraid.


best of luck
Sweetheart, read your question again, because you have already answered it. Knowing the problem is half the solution. All you have to do now is look within yourself at what you want and need and don't have it told to you. That is the best place to start.
First you need to search your heart deeply and discover if this is true love that u feel for your husband or just staying with him because u fear the unknown? He is controlling you and your movements and over time it could get alot worse for u. Your right to worry about kids in this relationship. Kids cannot always be controlled and when he sees that he may totally lose his cool. If HIS family is close try to get to know them better. Just cuz he doesnt want to go over there doesnt mean you cant right? The reason he does control your thoughts- and movements is so it does break down your confidence. That way he has u where he wants u and your afraid to go out on your own! And apparently he has succeeded. Im sure your family loves u very much and would be right there to support your decision and be there to help u get thru it. I could never live without a close family either. Family is Number one to me. Search your heart and ask yourself if u r in love with him or not. If not- then its best to go home to your family where u r happiest. Life is way too short to live in a loveless marriage. You deserve so much better than that. Everyone deserves a happy marriage alive with passion. Good luck to u
You are a frightened ,unhappy,abused young woman.It cannot get much worst.You need to get out of this marriage before it is to late.Go home because your family is your only support.You need to be around them.You are young enough to get a job,go to school and start over.Its going to take a lot of strength to make these decisions but if you can do it you will have gained enough self confidence to get you through the difficulties ahead.
Years ago I made the same mistake as you. I up and left my family and friends to follow my children's father to another state cause of a better job and his family also lived there. I felt the same feelings as you are now. I have never felt so alone in all my life. Soon after I realized that my family meant more to me than any man ever could and moved back home. But there are risk in doing this. Since I moved back to my home town he has had nothing to do with our children or me which is fine by me. Stop and listen to your heart it will never tell you wrong. No matter what anyone tells you you have to do what makes you happy.