Wife photo's from first marriage bother me, need advice?

My wife keeps a few photos of her wedding day with her previous husband, together with a stash from her most precious posessions ( souvenirs from trips, graduation day, friends, etc )





I know I should probably just forget about it, but it kind of bothers me that even though I ve expressed to her the fact that they do something to me ( insecurities, a bit jealous, a sense of wishing I was there ... bla bla bla ), she obviously does not seem to care, or does not understand it.





Can you guys please advice on what is right here ? and what is not ?





ThanksWife photo's from first marriage bother me, need advice?
You can't change that part of her past.


At one time she loved this person enough to marry them and this was an important time in her life.


As long as she wakes up next to you, you should be o k.Wife photo's from first marriage bother me, need advice?
I have a picture from my previous marriage displayed on my credenza at home because it's the only picture that I have of my parents together. My ex husband is not in the picture is just me and my parents but I am dressed in my wedding dress. My new husband knows this and understands it. We don't have a problem because he knows that this is the past and not the present. I keep the wedding album in the attic so when my children are older if they want it they can have it not because it's important to me.
There are many questions that need an answer to help provide suggestions for you:


Was the first marriage end in divorce? or did he pass away?


First marriage- children involved?





Photos - in a box? or in plain sight on the fridge or on the fireplace mantel?





If children are involved, a picture of the dad is exceptable in their room


but not a marriage photo





No children?


All those pictures better be in a box and out of view.


If the marriage ended and she is widowed, give her alittle


understanding


If the marriage ended in divorce...those pics better be in a box and out of view








Otherwise she is putting that relationship above yours.
i still have pictures of my first wedding but only because we have a child together and i want her to have them so she knows she came from love and all that good stuff if i didnt have her i would have probably threw them out obviously if i wanted him i would be with him but since i dont hes out and so the pics should be too unless she has a good reason
well, if she has there pictures through the house or in view, i would ask her to think of you and her together now and those should be put away. it is her past and she should not have them out. i have old bf pictures but they are out of sight and out of mind, my husband has some too but the same for him. talk with her. ask her how she would feel if it was your previous marriage pictures and fun photos of friends out?
she was married to the guy so he obviously was a big part of her life.


and where is that pic? in a box of souvenirs from the PAST.


just because the marriage ended doesn't mean she has to try and erase his existence.


if he died you need to take extra care, she lost him tragically.


if my husband and i were to split i would keep pictures of him, for the kids and myself.
You cant just expect someone to erase parts of their lives. Would you want her to abandon her kids if she had them from a previous marriage.





The bigger question is why did you marry her knowing that she was married before and had this baggage? You sound like you are operating from a scarce mentality. As if this is the only woman that you could get.
From a woman point of view i wouldn't want my husband holding on to pictures from his first marriage. So i tend to look at things in that way maybe you should ask her how would she feel if it was you. That is what i ask myself before may certain decision. But i can't say the same for my husband. It is nice to know that there are some men out there who care.
Are they in a box or an album or something, or hanging over the fireplace?


If they are put away, you need to forget about them. It was a major event in her life and the pictures are only a record. Besides, she probably was looking pretty damn good on that particular day - who doesn't want to hang on to a picture of that?


Let it go.
If she keeps them in a box tucked away, let it go.


She was married before. Accept it.





If she has them out, ask her to put them away.


Unless he died. Then they stay out, especially if they have children.


If she's a widow you need to come to love her husband as she did. Well, not exactly as she did.
does she have any kids with him? i keep my wedding pics and few other things from my ex husband so i can give them to my kids ( i have two kids from him) . I don't think there's anything wrong with her keeping them. sorry i think you just have to get over it.
steal em. nah, maybe she is sentimental? do they have kids together?? just bc they are divorced now, doesn't mean everything was bad...maybe she cherishes the wedding day? too many unknowns here...





she obviously loves you now, keep that in mind...
Her past is a part of who she is, it made her into the person you fell in love with. Without one part she isn't the same person.





But, she has the memories and experiences, she needs to ditch the pic.
Well I would find no offense to here prior memories and items. You should learn to not become jealous being these are part of why she is who she is . She should only if you cant control your jealousy put them up and out of sight ..





*** SWEET MILDRED IS OUR LEADER.. COME CRAWL INTO HER PLAYPEN***
As long as they aren't on display or she isn't looking at them frequently I would not worry about it. My wife has pictures from her previous marriage. She keeps them in a box in the basement. It doesn't bother me.
why not put your maggiage pitchure in the pile too?


If not just forget about it, that was her first maggage so prombaly she wants to keep that.
Ask her how she would feel if the boot was on the other foot,you might get a reaction
The pictures don't necessarily represent feelings/longing for her ex husband, they may represent a simpler time. Has she lost anyone close to her that was at her wedding?





My mum died three months after my wedding, even if I get divorced I will still keep photos of my wedding because around as it reminds me if a simpler time. My mum looked happy to the point where I thought she would explode, she never looked ill and we had no idea what was happening to her.





Maybe the photos represent something similar to your wife. Or maybe she just loves the dress. ;D





You need to talk to her. Not just to tell her how you feel about them but to find out why she keeps them.





At the end of the day, this guy is her ex husband and you are husband now. He is an ex for a reason. These pictures don't necessarily have anything to do with them, he may just happen to be in ones that she wanted to keep.





Talk to her. Find out why she has them,





Good luck. X
I think you'd have a right to be upset if she had them displayed, but if she just has the photos stored away somewhere, you need to get over it.





Just because she's not married to her ex anymore doesn't mean that he wasn't an important person in her life. She learned a lot in her previous marriage that benefits both her AND you. Her wedding day was just one of those milestones that a person remembers, and it's normal to want to keep momentos.





If you're feeling insecure about your relationship with your wife, then address the relationship AS IT IS. Don't blame it on her previous marriage or on anything else. Tackle the problem head-on, and solve it. Negative past experiences are just excuses for being lazy about solving current problems, so take the high road and DON'T be lazy. There's a reason she's married to YOU now, and not her ex. Remember that, respect it, and cherish it.